Categories
Work Life

Anger Management Overview

Anger Management Overview
What is anger?

Anger is a general umbrella term which includes lots of emotions including mild irritation and volcanic eruption! Sometimes it is hard to identify that you are angry because anger is a common companion for just being upset, depressed, and agitated. Professionals say that most frequently underneath these feelings you may find yourself feeling angry. In case you do not recognize anger and do not want to do or if you suppress the anger you may end up feeling low and lethargic. However, anger can and should be channeled constructively and assertively in order to feel better and turn your thinking into the positive way.

What are the types of anger?

According to the professional Calgary life coach there are two main types of anger:

(a) reactive anger; it stems from opposition and hostility in any kinds of interpersonal relations; and

(b) root anger; this type in fact is a positive driving force which leads us to shout from and campaign the hilltops about anything we oppose or campaign for.

Depending on the type of anger you have you can fight or deal with it in a variety of ways.

Anger’s disrepute

Most frequently anger is perceived as a bad or at least negative feeling. If you are asked to imagine anger, you are most likely to picture a red face person who is out of control and whom you would prefer to avoid in all possible ways. People always agree that the sight and sound of any angry person may and does trigger lots of unpleasant memories in their heads. As a result, these unpleasant memories send messages into our brains about anger being a bad and absolutely unacceptable emotion. However, it is very hard to get rid of this emotion and feeling an in the matter of fact every single person on this planet has ever been angry regardless of whether they acknowledge it to themselves and express it or not.

Four ways people express anger

If you would like to fight your anger and learn to keep calm all the time you can sign in for anger management courses in Calgary or cooperate with a professional who will lead your way. But before you head over to any office, you can start doing something yourself if you know the theory. Below you can find four main types of anger to help you identify them easier and consequently to help you find ways to suppress it.

Aggressively – people who show anger aggressively are called shark-like because they attack very intensely and wish to win at all costs; they do not accept any other points of view if the latter are different from their own.

Passively – people passively going through anger never show their feelings but secretly seethe when angry; they always leave some space for resolution.

Passive-aggressively – a combination of the two anger types above means that you dig at your “opponent” with smirks and sarcasm; gossipers frequently have actively-passive anger issues.

Assertively – this is the easiest type to handle; assertive people explain why they are angry about and are ready for compromises to solve any problems.

Categories
Work Life

What To Look For When Choosing Baby Photographer

What To Look For When Choosing Baby Photographer
Before looking for a baby photographer first think of the style which you want:

Posed or Lifestyle

Here is no “good” or “bad”, it just the matter of your preferences. Every professional maternity & baby photographer can perform both styles and neither of them is better than the other. But sometimes you need to look at the pictures that a photographer takes. It happens that one style is better done by one photographer and the other style looks more naturally at the other one.

In fact, posed photos are those which are done in the studio, where baby photographers use special props for the baby posing. Typically, most photos will have only a baby posed without parents or any other people on the shot. Lifestyle sessions are done at the baby’s home and are more natural and relaxed. They aim to capture some moments of the baby and its family in their own environment

Photography Principles and Post-Processing Pleasing

1. First of all, every professional baby photographer’s photo is always in focus, no matter where you have found his or her picture: website, blog or even social network.

2. Well exposed photos is a must-be! No over darkened or over lightened.

3. Soft light is another very important fact. Moreover, even the angle of the light falling matters. Every photo has to convey its depth with soft shadows occurring in the correct places.

4. Take care about any color mismatches. Baby’s skin is different everywhere: most baby’s skin tones are a little red or yellow on the side and the hands are usually purple. Do not mind. This is absolutely normal. But the photography has to present a baby as an angel in his or her best state, so every professional baby photographer has to perform perfect Photoshop skills to correct any colors issues.

The Decision

Before saying “yes” to any photographer think of the following things:

1. Experience. If the photographer does not actually a baby photographer but just a regular one, he or she might have not enough experience in this field. Moreover, you will not want to give your baby for a couple of hours to a person who does not even understand the difference between: “I want to eat” and “I want to sleep” baby signs. Newborn photography is very special. An even if he or she might be a great wedding or portrait photographer always look for someone who is experienced exactly in baby photography.

2. If you see only a few good baby photographs on the web-site, be cautious about this photographer. He or she might have had a luck to make a couple of good pictures, but in case of hiring this “professional” you will simply waste your money.

3. Check the style of your baby photographer and the prices in general. If you do not like the web-site or the photos, or even blog, then there is no point in hiring that person. If you on the contrary like what you see check prices for baby photos in your city to pay the fair acceptable price.

Categories
Communication Skills Work Life

Mean People — How To Deal With the Truly Nasty, Hateful Things People Say

Mean People — How To Deal With the Truly Nasty, Hateful Things People SayIf you’re going to get big, you’re going to have to learn to deal with it.CheckIn_03

That’s the advice many of us receive when we take those first tentative steps to get our work into the world in a much bigger way.

The bigger you get, the more you’ll be criticized or just have nasty things said about you (or even to you — anonymously online of course). So, chalk it up to jealously and move on.

Now, full disclosure, I also believed this sage advice…until a couple of weeks ago.

After the death of my mother, I wrote a blog post as a tribute to her. And while 99% of the feedback and comments I received was how beautiful it was, I also got one of the nastiest, mean-spirited, hateful comments I’ve ever received in all my years of being online. (The person called me self-centered and spiteful and said I clearly hated my mother among other things — I thought of posting it but then I didn’t want to give her the attention she’s clearly craving.)

The comment took me aback, but maybe not how you’re thinking. What it did was cause me to re-think the current advice about what we say to ourselves and our friends when this happens to us. And here’s what I came up with:

  1. As mean and nasty as that comment was, it actually didn’t hurt me at all. Because I know without a shred of doubt it isn’t true. So, then I thought about all the comments that DID bother and hurt me over the years — and I realized that why those other comments bothered me was because something they were saying triggered something in me. That maybe there was a bit of truth in what they said or they were tapping into some old wound I had.

So, the more you stand in your power and confidence, and love and integrate the shadow sides of you, the less likely you’re going to be troubled by whatever anyone says to you.

  1. Of all the things I write about, why would my nastiest comment come when I was talking about the death of my mother? If it’s true that people attack you for being big, why didn’t I attract nasty comments when I write about ways to have a successful business or even when I talk about my own wins as a business owner?

The answer, I think, is people aren’t necessarily attacking you for being big — they’re attacking you because you triggered something in them. In this case, this woman had issues with her own mom (yes, that was in the comment too — I was self-centered and spiteful, her mother was selfish and spiteful — are you sensing a theme?) And, since this is online, she could lash out at me anonymously.

Okay — so mean people are being mean because they’re being triggered by something you said or did, and typically what hurts you is because something in their nastiness is triggering you back.

So what do we do about it?

First off, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to feel bad. And it’s even okay to cry about it. What you DON’T want to do is stuff the feeling down and say things like “it doesn’t bother me, I don’t care” etc. If it bothers you, then let it bother you. Feel the feeling, icky and as horrible as it may be.

And, once you do, you’ll let it go.

You may also want to take super nice care of yourself — take yourself for a walk or treat yourself to a massage or a bath. Pamper yourself — that person was MEAN for NO REASON to you — you deserve to treat yourself.

Now, you may also want to take it one step further once you’re over feeling bad about it. (I wouldn’t suggest doing this when you’re still hurting). Take a look at why you were triggered. What wounded part of yourself did that nasty thing open up for you? What can you do to integrate that wound back into yourself so it no longer gets triggered?

If you can do that, then hateful things will simply roll off your back. Because you know they’re not true.

Oh, and if it helps — the next time you get a nasty comment, I give you permission to say to yourself “well at least this person didn’t call me self-centered and spiteful and say I hated my mother like what happened to Michele PW.” Come to think about it, maybe I’ll use that as my standard for any negative comment from now on “at least they didn’t say I hated my mom.”

Categories
Work Life

3 Simple Steps to Taking Time Away from Your Business

3 Simple Steps to Taking Time Away from Your Business

“I don’t have time for a vacation!”

“My family are sick of talking to my back as I’m constantly hunched over my desk!”

“Give me five more minutes … and I’ll watch that movie with you.”

Does any of this sound familiar?

plan-downtime

I hear it a lot from entrepreneurs. They start their business because they want freedom … a flexible schedule.

But, in fact, the opposite is happening … the reality is that their business becomes like a millstone hanging around their neck.

When you’re constantly working on and in your business you forget to schedule in some down time for yourself. There are several holidays throughout they year that naturally lend themself to you taking some downtime — there is no need for you to continue to remain a slave to your business!

  • Spring break/Easter
  • The summertime — July & August
  • Thanksgiving (if you’re in the US)
  • Christmas and the New Year

But then there’s always the worry that if you’re not involved in your business on a daily basis that things will fall apart and you won’t have any business to come back to when you return.

The solution is simple … you plan it in your calendar.  And you make sure your systems are set up to support you.

Today I’d like to share with you three simple steps that you can take to ensure your business runs smoothly when you decide to take time away … and you can apply these three steps any time you want to take a vacation; not just the summertime.

Step 1: Manage Your Schedule

The first step, and most important step, is to actually schedule your time off in your calendar. Once it’s on your calendar and you can see it you’re unlikely to accidentally schedule in a client call, meeting, or other event that will encroach upon your down time.

And if you’re not taking a vacation but just want to take say every afternoon off during the summer, schedule that in too. That way you’ll keep your mornings free for client work and other business building activities and the afternoons will be your own.

Also plan your programs and trainings around your vacation time. For example, especially around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, don’t schedule in any teleclasses or other trainings; allow for that time away.

Something that is important to me is being able to have a lot of free time during July and August when my children are on summer vacation, so I plan my programs and training around the academic school year – that way I can plan for their other school holidays too.

Step 2: Preschedule any Ezines and other Broadcasts

If you publish an ezine/newsletter on a regular basis just because you’re away on vacation doesn’t mean that your ezine shouldn’t go out… in fact it’s crucial to your business that you do continue with your ezine. With today’s list management services you can preschedule your newsletter ahead of time so it will get delivered exactly when it should.

And taking some time away is a good opportunity to mix things up a bit and do something different. For example this past summer instead of producing my regular weekly ezine I created a ‘Summer Special’ which provided several different learning opportunities for my subscribers. It was a much shorter publication and the fact that I had to prepare several ahead of time made it really quick for me to do so.

Step 3: Autoresponders are a Solopreneur’s Best Friend

Many hosting accounts offer you the option of setting up autoresponders on your various email accounts – these are also known as out-of-office replies. When someone sends you an email your server will automatically send them a pre-written email letting them know that you’re currently on vacation. You can write this email to say whatever suits your circumstances, but generally it should cover the fact that you’re not available between certain dates and state when you’ll be back. That way the sender knows not to expect a reply until after your return and they won’t be left hanging.

This is very common practice amongst business owners and makes the process of taking some time away very easy to manage. Do check with your hosting account to see if they offer this service.

Remember: taking time away for yourself is very important to your business growth. Use the three steps I’ve outlined above to plan for your vacation and you’ll be able to go away relaxed and confident in the knowledge that your business will be just fine for a little while and will be there when you come back.

What are you doing to take time away from your business?

Categories
Work Life

What do Business and Dating Have in Common

The worlds of business and dating have more in common than you may think. There are relationships, growth, and negotiation in both situations, and good ideas from one may apply in the other. Check out these trusted business rules that are great to follow in the dating world as well.

1. Be ready for growth: Businesses and relationships can both start out small, but grow quickly. Always have a plan for what you’d like to do with future growth.

2. Build trust: Businesses must be trustworthy to win and keep clients, and the same is true in relationships. Build trust within your relationship so that you’ll have a strong foundation.

3. He who cares least, wins: This saying is true in negotiations as it is in relationships. Be careful not to invest too much into a new relationship too fast, while the person you’re dating cares less than you do.

4. Find a mentor: It’s a great idea to have a mentor for your career, but there’s great value in having one for your dating life as well. Enlist a trusted friend who has been there to offer advice and emotional support.

5. It costs much more to get a new customer than it does to retain an existing one: Saving a relationship that’s worth working through is usually better than starting over from scratch.

6. Interview lots of customers (dates): This is particularly true in online dating. Cast a wide net, and pick out only the best.

7. Get involved in the community: Businesses can improve their profile by interacting within their communities, and those who are dating can benefit from this as well. Getting out there and being involved in your community can be great for meeting new people and enriching yourself.

8. Never sleep with your boss: This rule is true in business and dating — it’s just too messy to sleep with a coworker, especially your boss.

9. Use an appropriate tone in correspondence: When writing business emails, it’s important to consider how what you’re saying may be taken-and the same is true for dating.

10. Don’t leave customers in limbo: You wouldn’t leave a customer hanging with a need or a complaint, so make sure and resolve issues within relationships as well.

11. Listen to your employees: Business owners can’t get far without paying attention to the needs of their employees, and your relationship won’t do well if you don’t listen to your partner’s needs, either.

12. First impressions are important: When meeting someone for the first time, pay attention to how you may be coming across.

13. Show off your best work: Businesses like to highlight their best projects and most satisfied customers. Do the same in dating by highlighting your best attributes.

14. Under-promise and over-deliver: Businesses make their customers happy by exceeding expectations, and this concept works in the dating world, too. Surprise your date with something delightful and unexpected.

15. Remember to participate: Conversations work two ways, so listen and respond meaningfully.

16. Address problems promptly: Businesses can do well by finding and resolving problems quickly. In relationships, this is important as well, keeping small issues from becoming big ones.

17. Be consistent: Businesses must keep a consistent look, feel, and rules. When dating, make sure that you’re always your genuine self any time you’re interacting with others.

18. Stay flexible: In order to stay in business, it’s important to adapt to the needs of your market. In dating, you must be willing to be flexible and compromise in a relationship.

19. Get over it: Don’t let resentment and anger keep you down, whether it’s with a customer or your date.

20. Be honest: Businesses that engage in shady ethics often don’t stay in business very long, and the same is true for relationships. Be open, honest, and always tell the truth.