Last week I did a presentation to a room full of women business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders. The topic was “Letting Yourself HaveOutrageous Success and Personal Happiness”.
I looked forward to talking about the topic because so often I hear people complain about not having enough money, struggling with procrastination and overwhelm, feeling stuck or unhappy with themselves, their work, their life……
My client came in this morning angry and in a funk. She was angry with herself because she was dragging her feet on doing some things that would create financial ease in her life. Instead she was feeling desperate about paying her bills and was beating herself up for creating her situation. She has tons of tools to help her shift her attitude, feel more upbeat and positively energized. What was she doing about how she felt or the strain on her finances? Nothing. She was putting all of her attention on feeling bad and powerless.
Exactly my point of last week’s presentation.
What we do is engage in self-sabotage
* Mind games – risk aversion, avoidance (excuses, rationalizations, justifications) that might sound like, “I know what I’m supposed to do but I just don’t do it” I can’t afford it. I don’t have the time. Now is not the right time, I’m not ready”.
* Dramas/stories – The conversations we have inside our heads (worse case scenarios, imaginings). We tell ourselves, “I can’t do it. It’s too hard/too big. It will take too long….”
* Negative beliefs – We hold on to conscious and unconscious beliefs that dictate who we are, how we feel, and what we do (or don’t do). We tell ourselves, “I’m not smart enough/good enough/. Good things happen to others – not me”.
* Fear – fear of success/failure, pain and pleasure are the most dominant fears. We scare ourselves into despair and immobility. We make up stories to justify saying no to our dreams and desires.
* Procrastination leads to feeling guilty. We become disappointed and feel frustrated because we believe we have broken our agreement and promises to ourselves and others. That gives up permission to beat ourselves up. We punish ourselves and withhold the good stuff.
What do you tell yourself that makes it ok to say no to having what you want or need? When we continue to sabotage ourselves, it’s because we get something from it. There’s always a payoff.
What’s yours?
Wanna stop?
You can!
Anytime you say.
How about NOW?
Here are some keys to help your shift from NO to GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
1. Power of alignment – Inner conflict is felt when we are in discord with our heads and our heart. When your decisions, choices and actions line up with your spirit, core values, true desires and vision your life will have greater prosperity and happiness. Get to know yourself well. Make it a practice to listen to your heart, follow your instincts and trust yourself.
2. Deliberately choose to have better feelings and thoughts. Your imagined fears, negative self-talk, and beliefs about unworthiness serve you to recognize when you are in your drama and self-created stories by. Notice how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Your thoughts affect how you feel and what you do. When you can see what’s happening, you can choose to become the champion of your story or the victim of your circumstance. What you put your attention on expands.
3. Clarify what you really want. What inspires and excites you?
Identify a strong dream or desire.
Write down why you want it.
What will “having it” give you that you don’t have now?
Why do you want that?
What will having it……
Run this exercise to get to the heart of what you really want.
4. Decide to have it. Give yourself permission to receive what you want and desire. Commit to it. Refuse to take no for an answer.
5. Develop a positive/empowering mindset by challenging and replacing self-defeating attitudes and behaviors. Feel compassion and self- love by focusing on what’s right about you; what makes you special and unique.
6. Install accountability. Add people and systems to your team to help you stay motivated and inspired. Show up
7. Create a power strategy when you need a boost. Add things that motivate, inspire, nurture you – gratitude. When you give to yourself, the people in your life will get the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.
Remember to celebrate your successes along the way!
As you go through your day, I challenge you to let yourself have what you need and want to have the success and happiness you desire.
~ Say yes to following up with those business leads, calling prospects, attending networking events, taking 5 marketing actions today….
~ Say yes to booking that massage, taking a long weekend, scheduling lunch with a friend…
~ Say yes to registering for that class, learning one new skill, hiring a coach…
Say yes to having the abundance you want and the life you dream about. Need some help? Purchase any of my featured products to give you insights, tools and time to take charge of your life! It’s time to become the hero of your own life story. If not now, when?
Have a terrific day!
