Category: Success Attitude

If you had a person, let us say Jeff, who places a very high valueon freedom and fun, and you compared him with someone else, called Sam who places a very high value on security and comfort. Wouldthey behave very differently and make very different decisions? Of course they would. Will they go on the same kind of vacation? I do not think so.

You know, Jeff who values freedom and fun might go mountain climbing ,sky diving, while Sam who values comfort and security may go on acultural museum visit for example. They will buy very different cars, marry very different kind of women and probably be in very different jobs.

When I wanted to find out what drove the top insurance agents in Singapore, I interviewed the top three and asked them, “What gave them the energy and the passion that made them different from all their colleagues?” The first lady I interviewed remarked that she was really driven every single day by her family. The way she wakes up at 6 a.m.every morning, she plans her day, makes the calls and followsthrough, she thinks about her family and how she is going to give them what she never had before. See, her value of family was totally in line with her goals ofbeing successful in her career.

But when I asked the second insurance agent who was equally successful, what drove him? He said it was not family at all. What drove him was the sense of achievement, of beating the competitionand always being ranked number one. This other person was just as successful again but what really drove him was a difference sense of value.

The third agent, who was equally as successful, was totally different. She said that every time she sold an insurance policy she felt so wonderful inside, knowing she had made a difference to the security of the family she was serving. And this inspired her to go on and on in spite of all the hard work and rejection. Again, her value of contribution and making a difference was totally in line with her goals.

These are all different values that drive all these people. But then when I worked with agents who were below average, those who were struggling to get by, I found out it was because either theywere not clear on their values or that their values were totally misaligned with their goals sabotaging their goals in the process.

It is very important for you to know what your towards values are. What are the significant emotions do you move towards on a daily basis?

What are the values do you move away from? Knowing and clarifying these values will allow you to make better decisions and take the required actions that are in line with yourvalues thus allowing you to accomplish your goals naturally.

Do you want to be in control of your life and create the results you desire? To be in a position of power and change whatever is not working in your life? Do you want to be able to change the people around you, the results you produce and even how you feel?

Most people believe that power and control are limited to the fortunate few who were born into power (e.g.: the tycoon’s son), or acquire power through exceptional talent, business acumen or lady luck.

They believe (and we’ll prove them wrong), that the rest of us are destined to be buffeted by whatever winds of change swirl around us.

Economic slowdown, recession, company takeovers are the common winds of change.

The truth is, you do not need to have money or be in a top position to take control over what happens. In fact, people at the helm can also lose control…with much bigger consequences.

Look at the CEOs who watch their company’s profits nose-dive helplessly in a bear market.

Or what about the US Army Generals who entered Iraq thinking that they were liberators of the people only arriving to find themselves regarded as invaders. Were they, the high and mighty in control? Not at all!

Taking Absolute Responsibility Gives YOU Absolute Power

The secret is to take absolute responsibility for whatever happens. That’s right! When you take full responsibility for whatever happens, it means you acknowledge the fact that you have created whatever happens.

If you created it, then you have the power to change it. So, taking absolute responsibility for something puts you in a position of absolute power.

The extent to which you take responsibility over something is the extent to which you have control over it.

For example, if you take responsibility for your low pay, it means you acknowledge the fact that it was your actions and decisions that were the cause of this result.

Reasons could be that you are not creating enough value to be paid more; you have not demonstrated your true value to your boss; or that you chose to work in a company which does not recognize your true value.

Regardless of the reason or position you are in, you have the power to take charge and change anything in your life. The moment you take responsibility, you put yourself on the road to doing something about it.

You can either find ways to create more value by going beyond what is expected, make yourself more valuable by upgrading your skills, ask for a pay raise or find another job that will pay you what you are worth.

When you start taking any of these actions, your situation will change… you will get paid more!

Taking absolute responsibility for your situations and results puts you in a position of absolute power. So remember every time you feel like blaming others or circumstances, stop and take charge!

People who achieve their goals are those who are truly committed to get what they want. To them, their goals are not a mere wish or a weak desire. They are an absolute must.

When a goal becomes a must, we operate from a very different frame of mind.

When something becomes an absolute must, we will do whatever it takes to get it (within ethical, legal & moral boundaries of course).

When something becomes a must, we will stretch well beyond our comfort zones and keep changing our strategy as many times as it takes.

Time and again, you will notice that people who succeed are those who show this level of commitment. In fact I believe that failures, setbacks and frustrations are life’s ways of testing our level of commitment.

Most people fail this test by quitting when they hit major obstacles. The few who succeed do so because they do whatever it takes to overcome obstacles.

I truly believe that when something becomes a must for you, and you are willing to do whatever it takes, you will always find a way!
For most people, achieving success in anything is rarely a must. They would like to lose weight, but it is not a must. They would love to make more money, but they won’t die without it. They wish they could take charge of their lives, but they could live without it.

The moment something becomes a ‘should’ instead of a ‘must’, you will rarely achieve it. You will always find a way to put it off or to quit the moment you meet resistance.

People like Sylvester Stallone, Steven Spielberg or a Donald Trump who achieve success are not born more focused, more disciplined or more lucky than the average person.

What makes them different is that they make their goals a must for themselves. They are not willing to accept anything less than the best.
So let me ask you a question.

Are your dreams and goals an absolute must or are they just weak desires that you can live without? Have you been truly committed to do whatever it takes in the past or have you quit and given yourself excuses along the way?

If you haven’t then it’s time you take yourself and your goals seriously because if success isn’t a must for you then there is no way that you can become successful. Because success only reserves itself for people who want it bad enough to make a MUST!

At any point of time, you create your own states!

If you are feeling confident, then you are creating that confidence within yourself. If you are feeling depressed, you are creating your own depression. When you are motivated, you are creating that state of empowerment.

No one or nothing can affect or change your state unless you choose to allow yourself to get into that state.

Is this really true? Well, think about this. Why is it that two people can encounter the exact same event, but feel totally different about it?

One person may experience fear at having to speak in front of a large audience, while the other feels totally relaxed.

One person may feel totally motivated coming into the office, while the other feels bored & tired. One person may feel inspired and challenged when faced with an obstacle while another person feels demoralized.

So, you see, it is not what happens on the outside that affects a person’s state, but what happens on the inside.

So how do we create our states? When we are feeling totally motivated, how do we create this state? When we are depressed, how do we create that depressing mood?

How we feel at any moment in time is determined by both of these Keys: 1. Our Physiology 2. Our Internal Re-presentation.

Your Physiology Affects Your State

The first thing that determines the state you are in is your physiology. Physiology means the condition and use of the physical body.

The condition of your body has a direct impact on how you feel. Do you feel different when your body is well rested and physically vibrant?

When your muscles are relaxed and your cells are bursting with energy, you are most likely to be in a peak state.

Conversely, after a night of tossing and turning with worry, having insufficient sleep, won’t you feel your muscles aching and your joints being stiff?

You will easily get into states of tiredness, frustration and depression, non of these being very resourceful states.

This is why it is so important that our body is maintained in peak condition through both proper diet and exercise.

Highly successful individuals from Presidents to pop stars are consistently able to be in peak states because they keep themselves in peak physical condition through comprehensive exercise regimes.

Engaging in daily aerobic activities like swimming, running, cycling or jumping on the trampoline has an effect of oxygenating our body much more readily.

As oxygen and nutrients are carried into our bodies, our cells are nourished more effectively, giving us a lot more energy!

When our physical body is in a peak condition, we will find ourselves being in peak emotional states as well.

Your Internal Re-presentation Affects Your State.

The second factor that affects our state is your internal re-presentation. Your internal re-presentation is a fancy term meaning “How and What we think about.”

What we perceive is not reality but an internal re-presentation of reality. It is how we internally re-present what is going on around us inside our mind.

This is why two people can encounter the same event, represent and feel very differently about this same event in their minds

Some of the key filters that determine what we delete, distort and generalize are our Beliefs, Values and Attitudes.

Because different people have different beliefs, values and attitudes, they delete, distort and generalize things very differently.

As a result, all of us experience a very different re-presentation of the world.

Some people have powerful beliefs, values and attitudes that allow them to constantly re-present things in a way placing them in an empowering state while others constantly re-present things in a way that puts them in a lousy, ineffective state.

Successful people are able to take charge and consciously direct their states from moment to moment. Unsuccessful people, on the other hand, find themselves constantly at the mercy of their (bad) habits and their environment.

By taking charge of our physiology and forming empowering internal representations, we have the keys that will allow us to be in constantly resourceful states enabling us to perform at our peak.

Seeing in their mind a picture of them self feeling good about the exciting endeavours they are to complete for the day, instantly they jump out of bed, energized and ready.

For another person, when the alarm clock rings in the morning, an internal voice is fired off, automatically going, “What time is it?” “Why must I wake up so early?” How much longer can I sleep? “Give me five more minutes.”

Picturing in their minds the people and things of their dislike, they enter a state of lethargy causing them to turn over and go back to sleep.

Being late for work….they start and stay in a frantic state for the entire day!
What mental program are you playing daily?

How do you habitually re-present things in your mind? If you have been playing a destructive program, you must begin to change it immediately.

Whatever we picture in our minds, the sounds we play, and what we say to ourselves affects the states we are in.

Some people have a pattern of constantly re-presenting things in such a way that makes them feel depressed. Others do the opposite.

For some people, the moment they experience a setback, they will create all the worst pictures & sounds in their mind! They will keep re-playing the internal movie of themselves failing and even picture themselves screwing up all future attempts.

They have an internal voice that goes, ‘why does this happen to me?’ ‘I always screw up!’ By re-presenting the experience this way, you put yourself in the worst possible state! You will probably feel frustrated, overwhelmed and scared that you will stop taking action.

The moment you start consciously directing the pictures and words in your head, you start getting control over your emotions and actions!

Instead of painting a scene of doom and gloom like most people do after experiencing a set-back, a temporary defeat, successful individuals picture all the possibilities of turning the situation around.

Picturing their final, successful outcome, they say to themselves, “What can I learn from this set-back?” How can I turn this around?’

Constantly being in a state of confidence and motivation, such individuals keep taking action until their desired final outcomes are met.