Category: Success Attitude

If setting clear goals is so crucial for us to achieve a successful and fulfilling future, then why do so many people fail to do it? Why are so many people allowing the river of life to pull them in all directions?

1) Limiting Beliefs
The first thing that holds most people back from setting goals are their limiting beliefs. Many people only dream about what they would love to have. When it comes to committing to a specific target and plan, they don’t even bother. Something inside them says ‘there is no way’. Either it’s too difficult or they simply don’t have what it takes.

You now know that these are nothing but limiting beliefs. Unless we break past these generalizations about ourselves, we will never dare to design goals that drive us to the next level.

2) They Don’t Know What They Want
‘But… I don’t know what I want!’ This is probably one of the most common responses I get from people. I bet if I gave these people a magic lamp and told them that they would be granted anything they wish for, they will start making up a whole list of things real quick!

It is not that people don’t know what they want. What has truly happened is that most people have stopped daring to dream. I believe that as kids, all of us had fantasies and dreams of what we wanted to have and be when we grow up. However, as we went through life, we meet with so many failures and disappointments that our rational, critical mind has forbidden us to continue day dreaming anymore.

Whenever we get excited about something, our internal voice will rush in to tell us, ‘it can’t be done’ ‘you cannot do that’ ‘ that’s impossible.’ ‘grow up, get real’. (It could even be an echo of our parents’ voice, if we had stern, no-nonsense parents). As a result, this would block our creative juices and deflate our passion – the very elements we need to create and design the life we truly want.

We need to learn how to unlock our imagination and set our creative minds FREE….free of fear and inhibitions so we can dream clearly and with growing excitement of what we truly want out of life.

3) Fear of Failure
This fear of failure, of rejection and embarrassment is what probably paralyses most people from even starting out. I had a participant in one of my seminars who never dared set goals because of her intense fear of failing if she did not achieve what she had set her heart and mind to.

In her mind, she reckoned that if she did not set expectations, then she could not fail!

My mum did something similar when she was sitting for her final O level examinations over 40 years ago. She was sure she would fail maths (which she hated), and so she decided she would rather not take the exam than have a fail mark!

Sound crazy, but many people do the same thing. They believe that it is better not to have expectations so they cannot let themselves down.
Does this mean that people who keep setting goals do not fear failure? I don’t believe so. I think everyone hates and fears the feeling of failure, including myself.

What then gives them the courage to set high goals and go for it? It is how we define failure to ourselves. The only one who can tell us that we failed and make us feel bad is… ourselves.

Yet, this is how we often shoot ourselves in the foot. The moment we do not achieve what we want, even on our first attempt, we tell ourselves we have failed, and feel really bad.

This pain is what prevents us – and this goes for the majority of people – from daring to try for high stakes, to taking risks.

4) Addiction to the Soft Life
Most people are risk averse because they are addicted to a way of life: a soft life, a cushy life with habits and material comforts they are loathed to change or risk losing. Unless that comfy life-style is imminently under threat, they won’t do anything that calls for iron will and discipline.

Setting goals and really going for our goals often means changing habits, sacrificing time spent hanging out with friends. This is why people make half-hearted attempts. As soon as their new path impinges on their old habits, they withdraw…it’s too hard.
A friend who teaches a Detox & Energise self-help program says most people don’t stick to it because even if they believe in its long-term health benefits, they are not willing to work at it….and it is life-long work. They’d rather pop a pill (a drug) and dam the long-term consequences.

There are no short-cuts to success in any area – business/career, health or personal relationships. So, be prepared to make what appears to be ‘sacrifices’ and, if you do, the rewards are there.

Here’s a question that many people have asked me,” Adam, do you face any problems?” Here’s my reply to this question, “I have more problems than you.”

Many people have these beliefs, that the more successful you become, the less problems you will have. They also believe, the more money you make, the fewer problems you have. Lastly, if you can make all the money in the world, you will have no problems.

In fact, through my own experience, the more success you have, the more problems you will face. The more money you make, the more problems you will encounter. I can confidently say that I have more problems than anyone of you reading this.

Using myself as an example, I get worried about 80 staff every single month. I worry about my businesses and my programs not meeting the sales mark, not generating enough revenue

I worry about $300,000 worth of overheads each month, and I worry about customers complaining.

I also have to deal with internal relations in my businesses and companies.

There are partnership issues, issues with overseas partners and businesses. There are also issues of staff conflict within my companies.

Do you now believe I have no problems?

So the important question to ask is, “What’s the best way to deal with problems in life”?

The key is to address your belief about what a problem means.

If you see a problem as something that is there to stop you, there to make life difficult, you know what, you are going to be really miserable.
Here’s my belief about problems.

I believe problems are doorways to opportunities. Behind every problem is an opportunity to learn more and to make more money. I believe problems are here to teach us lessons.

Everybody has problems, so its more important to learn how to deal with those problems and get stronger over time.

Solving one problem at a time and becoming stronger and dealing with your own problems is essential compared to, sweeping them under a carpet only to eventually realize that everything is a big mess.

Clean things up step by step and you will find that things are much clearer for you.

Here’s the last key and this has helped me face and deal with the problems I face.

I treat it life as a game. Every time I encounter a problem, I always feel that behind every problem is an opportunity to learn more or to make more money. I reframe problems in this manner that is why I love problems

Lastly, I am not going to fool you saying that whenever I face problems, I never get upset. I do. I do get upset sometimes. It’s a human reaction.

It’s only natural. Only a robot can be able to not be upset.

When I get upset over my problems, I only allow myself 20 minutes to be upset. So for that 20 minutes, I get really pissed off, I get really angry, I curse the whole world, I blame everybody.

After 20 minutes, I take responsibility for it. In this way, I have released my frustrations but at the end of the day, I take responsibility.

To conclude, the only time you are not going to have problems is when you are in the graveyard. So be grateful for your problems, learn and view them as opportunities for improvement. You’ll be better equipped towards tackling your problems this way!

The following study was conducted at Yale University in 1953. In that year, a batch of fresh graduates was surveyed, and in this batch, only 3% had their goals written down.

Some of their goals included: ‘being a best-selling novelist, starting a computer company and taking it public, running for President etc…’
97% of the students had no clearly defined goals written down. Many of them chose to adopt the ‘whatever will be, will be’ mindset, possibly popularized by a hit ’50s musical titled ‘Que Sera Sera’ (Whatever will be, will be).

Twenty years later, a follow up study revealed that the 3% of students who wrote down their goals earned a combined income three times greater than the combined income of the 97% who had no goals written down.

This surely shows the incredible power of goal setting.

I can tell you that if I did not sit down 14 years ago and design my life the way that I wanted it to unfold, I certainly wouldn’t have achieved what I have right now. I would be somewhere else, probably doing something totally different.

Very often, if we don’t have a clear plan for our life, we will fall into somebody else’s plan. For most people, it would be our parents’ plan: ‘Be a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer in order to make plenty of money’.

Though it may seem to be (in their view) for our own future good, more often than not it is more of meeting their expectations and sometimes their very own unrealized dreams.

Now, don’t we all want the freedom to do and be whatever we choose to become?

When I was first featured in the newspapers as a 26-year old millionaire who’s speaking fee commanded a thousand dollars per hour, many of my friends asked me how I was able to command such a high fee within two years of graduating from university.

At age 26, two years after graduation, I had written a best-selling book, started and ran three companies, spoken to thousands of people and made over a million dollars. Most of my peers were either looking for their first job or working for other people for about $2000 + a month.

The irony is that many of these peers and friends are probably just as intelligent, talented and hardworking as I am. The only difference between us was the fact that at age 15, I sat down and scripted out a detailed life plan.

I wrote down exactly what I was going to achieve in the next 10 years of my life.

After scripting out my life plan, I took action and each action I took enabled me to focus all my talents, my intelligence and energies like a laser beam. I use the analogy of a laser beam because I was so energized I felt I could cut through anything that was in my way.

Achieving success rarely ever happens by chance. The roll of the dice never made anyone happy or rich for a long time. It always begins with a clearly defined outcome fuelled by a passionate desire.

If there is one message I must get across, it is this. You must start setting goals in every major area of your life. Right now, whatever your age, whatever you are doing.

Without something to focus on, the decisions we make and actions we take daily will not have any long-term direction, and will not result in any kind of achievement.

Without direction, we will be caught up with short term outcomes like paying the bills, watching TV, going shopping, trying out the newest restaurant, avoiding problems or simply making it through one hectic week after another. Like rats on a treadmill. We will tend to be caught up in a stressed and monotonous existence instead of designing a destiny and truly living.

The human mind is always pursing some kind of goal, however feeble. If we don’t focus our mind on long term goals that lead us to success, our minds will tend to focus on short term and small goals that serve only to distract us and waste our time.

I always like to use a river as a metaphor for life. We are all in our boats moving down this raging river which splits into many tributaries downstream, representing the many outcomes. Which tributary we take will determine where we end up.

When we are clear which stream we want to take, we will begin rowing in that direction. Now, along the way, there are definitely going to be currents that pull us in different directions.

There are going to be rocks and rapids that block our path. But if we stay focused on where we want to go, we will just keep rowing steadfastly, re-directing our boat until we get to our destination.

However, if we go through life without any clear idea of where we are going and where we want to end up, we will just row our boats aimlessly. We will just allow the currents and the rocks to move us in all directions.

This is what happens to most people. There end up going down a stream that they don’t want to be in. When they finally realize that it is not an outcome they want, they start paddling hard to avoid it. By this time, for many, it will be too late.

They go over the rapids (disaster) or finish up in a dead-end mill pond. They end up feeling frustrated, disillusioned and unfulfilled in the many different areas of their life. So, surely it is time to start deciding where you want to end up in your river of life!