Category: Success Attitude

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Success Attitude

Honesty Speaks Loudly in Many Languages

Lately I’ve been thinking about the leadership characteristic of integrity. Several years ago, I worked for a leader who lived out that quality. In fact, if you looked up the word “integrity” in the dictionary, I think you’ll see his face posted next to the word. It was great working with a person I could trust – knowing I could believe what he said and that his motives were true.

I recently traveled to China with four businessmen to participate in an ethics and management forum for Global Partners in Hope (GPiH).  During one of our luncheons, two of the men had a very lively discussion about honesty in the workplace, with both agreeing it was extremely important.

As I watched their animated conversation in which they talked excitedly and nodded their heads in agreement, I was blown away by how strongly they felt about this issue.  One of the men said, “Hey, if an employee will lie about a small thing, then count on them lying about the big stuff, and I can’t afford to have employees who are dishonest.”   The book of Proverbs in the Bible states, “It’s better to be poor than a liar.”  I think we underestimate the impact of a lie and how it affects relationships.

During the forum in Beijing, one man told of how dishonesty had affected both himself and his family.  He spoke with tears and it was clear he was wrestling with how to function with real integrity in his business.

Honesty is important in most cultures, but how we define honesty can be confusing. What one might call “negotiations” another culture might call a “bribe.”  In certain cultures, negotiations are expected as a rule in business. For example, at the Silk Market in Beijing, a person is expected to barter for a certain product. If you don’t, it’s not “sporting” or much fun.  Most of the fun is in the bartering, right? There seems to be a clear definition between a negotiation and a bribe.  The merchant would not consider this process as being dishonest.

How about in the workplace when an employee who calls in “sick,” but he or she actually is just fine and simply took the “sick” day to play tennis. Is this acceptable? Should we just accept this in the workplace? Should an employee lose their job over a “little lie”?

A line should be made clear in the workplace about honesty and what is acceptable. The leader has the responsibility to model this for those they lead. Why?  Because it builds trust, and trust is the foundation for healthy relationships. If trust breaks down, then relationship will break down. Employees want a leader they can trust and employers want employees they can trust.

Regardless of the responsibilities of a leader, some leadership characteristics have universal value. Honesty is a key component of integrity, and any leader looking to lead effectively will not overlook its significance.

About the Author:

Ian Vickers is chief executive officer of Global Partners in Hope (GPiH). The organization aims to bring hope to communities around the world through partnerships between people who can help and people who need hope. To read more about the difference GPiH is making in communities internationally, visit http://www.globalpartnersinhope.com

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Success Attitude

Living Beyond the Statistic and Claiming Your Talent Advantage

“People are happiest and most satisfied in life when they are engaged in actions and activities that draw upon their natural capacities, skills, and abilities.”

It’s true, and this is the sixth principle of our Perceptual Style Theory, or PST, to help us make sense of the everyday differences people experience between themselves and others.

To review, here are the first 6 principles of PST:

1. People perceive the world differently.
2. Differences in perception result in psychological diversity, and psychological diversity is the most profound diversity there is.
3. Perceptual differences can be grouped into 6 unique Perceptual Styles.
4. Everyone believes that their way of experiencing the world is the right way (and until they learn differently – the only way!).
5. A person’s Perceptual Style is innate and determines what natural capacities, skills, and abilities they have.
6. People are happiest and most satisfied in life when they are engaged in actions and activities that draw upon their natural capacities, skills, and abilities.

Building your daily actions around your natural skills – literally claiming Your Talent Advantage – is what the sixth principle is all about.  Knowing what you do naturally well makes a difference in all aspects of your life – family, friendships, hobbies, work, everything.   Let’s use an example of your job to illustrate this point.

A recent survey revealed that 61% of people polled said they hated (not disliked) their job. This represents a staggering amount of dissatisfaction. What is the cause of so much unhappiness for so many as they do something that occupies a large amount of their daily lives?

Think back on how you chose what you do for a living. If you are like most people, you received very little career guidance based on your natural skills and landed in your career field by happenstance. The chance of ending up doing something that draws upon your natural skills if you followed this all too common “career path” are very small. The truth is very few of us have gotten any solid feedback in our lives about what we do well, and “Will this job allow me to use my natural gifts and skills?” is not a common question people ask themselves when job hunting. The sad fact is that far too many of us have little or no idea what our natural gifts and skills even are.

When people take the time to discover what they do naturally well, consciously develop those skills, and actively seek employment that uses those skills, how they feel about themselves, their job, and life in general is remarkably different from the norm. Career guidance designed to help you discover your natural strengths and talents and then seek an area of employment where they will be used and appreciated is very rare. It takes a little effort to discover your natural strengths are, but once you are clear on what you naturally do well, you can create a list of the top ten skills that you need to use regularly in a job in order for you to find it satisfying, stimulating, and meaningful. These ten skills become a checklist against which you can evaluate any job or career and determine if it is a fit for you.

Don’t become part of the statistic of people who hate what they do. Life is too short to spend it toiling at something that is no fun. We are all going to end up in the same place eventually, so make the journey there interesting and rewarding.

About the Author:

Gary Jordan, Ph.D., has over 27 years of experience in clinical psychology, behavioral assessment, individual development, and coaching. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology – Berkeley.  He is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary psychological assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their deepest potentials for success. He’s a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., a consulting firm that specializes in helping people discover their true skills and talents. www.aciforcoaches.com

http://www.aciforcoaches.com/
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Success Attitude Work Life

Fear of Failure? Are You Saying No To Who You Are Meant To Be?

We all know that Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.

Did you know he also invented the stock ticker, the electric vote recorder, the automatic telegraph, the electric safety miner’s lamp, fluorescent lights, the motion picture camera, and the phonograph?

While struggling with the light bulb, he replied, “I have not failed seven hundred times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those seven hundred ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.” From the book, “The Power of Patience”, by M.J. Ryan

Do you have a fear of failure?

Do you cringe at the thought of making a mistake?

Do you expect the worst to happen rather than the best?

Fear of failure is a common reason people hesitate to say YES. For many, the attachment to doing something that leads to an expected or desired outcome often determines whether an experience is viewed as positive or negative. It’s only good if it goes the way you want.

I was doing a presentation a few years ago and one woman said, “Failure would be devastating. I know I would be so disappointed with myself for a long time.” To her, it was one of the worse things she could do. OUCH!

If you do something that does not lead to the outcome you desire or hope, how do you use that experience to help you positively? Do you see it as a learning opportunity or a reason to beat yourself up?

I have a good friend who is a health professional. Years ago we worked briefly together to expand his business. He talked about wanting to offer workshops, sponsoring speakers, perhaps creating some products… his eyes lit up with passion as he talked about his desire to reach more people beyond his local area. He’d been talking about expanding his business for quite some time and he was stalling. He joked about being a big procrastinator and wondering if he’d be able to break through his fears of failure.

Whenever he got close to pushing through his resistance, he’d back away by saying, “My business is doing well. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have”. He admitted that his parents often settled for the status quo because they feared the unknown and their fears made a powerful impact on his view of risk and expansion.

After a few months of working together, he quit. He was too afraid to push through his blocks and go the distance. In the next few years he sponsored a few workshops and now he focuses strictly on his practice. Is he happy and content? He seems to be. Or perhaps he has convinced himself to want less than his soul is asking of him to be? Who knows? This is his life journey.

Being successful in any area of your life includes a learning curve. That means making mistakes and experimenting with decisions and actions to create the life you are here to live. Accomplishments can be defined as the completion of an action. ANY action. I encourage you to be willing to recognize and appreciate your courage to both succeed and fail, which is all a success, really)!

Do you think Donald Trump was a huge success on his first attempt?

How about Oprah? If you look at where she started and who she has become, her rise to becoming a powerfull influence for women has soared over the years because she has had the guts to set a new standard for talk shows and the willingness to be a transparent model of authenticity to people worldwide.

How about you? Are you the same person you were five years ago? If you’ve been growing yourself and your business, the answer would be no. Even if you haven’t put a lot of time and energy into personal growth, it is impossible to remain the same indefinitely. We are either moving forwards or we are moving backwards.

We use past experiences as a barometer to measure future experiences and projected outcomes. We can hesitate to say YES because we believe, “If this happened in the past, I fear the same experience will repeat in my future”. We can use past experiences as excuses to take risks and take quantum leaps. To expect the past to repeat itself exactly is impossible because we aren’t the same people today that we were then. The potential for themes and patterns to recur is probable if you haven’t done the inner work to clear limiting beliefs, resolve past pain, and self-sabotage.

In fact, we can manufacture any reason to avoid doing anything we don’t want to do. The more evidence we collect to prove our reasoning, the better positioned we are to make our case to ourselves and to others. And we can become brilliant in our defense to avoid stepping out of our comfort zones or retreating back when the going gets tough. Enlisting others to support our case makes things a whole lot easier to avoid.

Common beliefs regarding failure:

  • I have to get it right (perfect)
  • I don’t have what it takes
  • If I say no, people won’t like me
  • I have nothing valuable to offer
  • If I’m really “me” people won’t like or love me
  • Things don’t usually turn out well for me (self-fulfilling prophecy?)
  • It’s too hard
  • Success happens for other people not me
  • I’m not good enough, smart enough, lovable enough..
  • I’m not ready
  • I won’t be able to handle….
  • I’ll lose…. (fill in the blanks)  and that would be devastating  (Is that really true?)
  • Maybe what I have is enough and I should be happy with the way things are and not want more

Which ones do you relate to?

Self-fulfilling prophecies give us even more ammunition to prove why something doesn’t work out well. Wikipedia’s definition of self-fulfilling prophecy is “a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to be true”. If we are resistant, expecting something to go poorly or fear it might go well (fear of success), you can bet we’ll find ways to sabotage ourselves so we can prove we’re right. That gives us permission to come back and say, “I told you so!” to ourselves and others because we didn’t really say YES!
It is through the trial and error experiences that we develop our unique formula for happiness and success.

When I was an addictions counselor we talked about trusting the process and the journey of moving from one place to the next. The challenge? Having the patience and tolerance to go the distance without getting discouraged or scared. “I want it to happen NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

There is a difference between failing at an effort and taking on the identity of a failure.

There is a difference between making a mistake, and identifying with result

Do-ing something and Be-ing something are two vastly different truths!

Yes, you will minimize the chances of too many costly mistakes in your life by doing your homework, making informed decisions, and creating solid strategies to implement. Remember, that even with the best plan that includes anticipating possible outcomes; life will still bring you the unexpected. When you include failures and mistakes as part of your strategy to success and outlook on life you will rebound more quickly to each situation as it arises so that you continue to move toward your destination.

Getting things you may not want will help you get that much clearer about what you do want. In that way, your commitment to your dreams and goals become more compelling.

To explore your attitudes about failure, consider the following twelve questions. Take your time in answering them:

1. What is your definition of failure?

2. What does failure mean to you? What does it look like, feel like?

3. What fears, concerns, or assumptions do you associate with failure?

4. How are your fears and beliefs about failures affecting your life? Constricting you? Inspiring and motivating you? Some people use their fear to break through barriers and create amazing lives.

5. Is it possible that your fears and beliefs about failure are fundamentally false, even if you have evidence to back it up?

6. If you fail at something, does that define YOU as a failure?

7. What specific experiences would you define as failures?

8. Can there be success in failure? (Remember Thomas Edison’s quote!) Is it possible that any every failure you ever had was really a success? (Gotcha thinking, don’t I?)

9. Do you use your past failures as learning experiences or do you use them to beat yourself up?

10. If you appreciate past failures as growth and healing opportunities, what value have you taken from them to enhance your life?

11. If you could not fail, what would you be doing? Who would you be?

12. Would be saying YES to who you are meant to be?

We are human beings! We react, respond, screw up, and do things brilliantly.

My philosophy?

Here are several:

  • Every situation offers a growth and healing opportunity. Look for the gifts and blessings in each experience that challenges you and invites you to be more than you are, especially when it is undesired.
  • Approach life with more self-love and compassion for those times you judge yourself to be less than your best.
  • Aspire to see yourself and others through the eyes of love (if you aren’t already there!). And when you have those moments when you slip into your humanity rather than your Divinity, forgive yourself and use the experience as an opportunity to heal and grow.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. Remember to laugh and have fun.
  • You are a powerfull Creator. At every moment you make choices that will either bring your joy or misery depending on your attitude. What will you create today?
  • Experiment with new things and learn all you can from each experience regardless of the outcome.

Fear of success and fear of failure are two sides of the same experience.  By definition, success and failure is perceived from multiple viewpoints. Both results offer opportunities for self-discovery and change.  It is through the process of succeeding and failing that we come to know more about who we are. We learn about our unique talents, skills, and gifts through the opportunities we create that invite us to shine.

“When we come to the edge of all the light we have
And must take a step into the darkness of the unknown
We must believe one of two things
Either we will find something firm to stand on
Or, we will be taught to fly.” –Patrick Overton Copyright © 1975 The Leaning Tree

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Success Attitude

What Are You Waiting For? The Time is Now: Claim Your Talent Advantage

When I speak to groups about Talent Advantage I always begin by clearly defining everything the concept encompasses. Simply put, Your Talent Advantage is the idea that each of us is born with a unique set of natural skills. When we recognize and develop these skills into their full potential we create our “Talent Advantage.” When speaking, I always receive smiles and knowing nods from the audience. It seems that we are all familiar with the concept in some shape or form, and more importantly the concept resonates with what we know to be true. Yet the amazing thing to me is how many people “understand” the concept and yet fail to truly live it.

Claiming Your Talent Advantage and using it to experience a fulfilled life are more than theoretical concepts for me. I have spent over 30 years learning about, researching, and applying Talent Advantage to the lives of others as well as my own. I fully understand the difficulties involved with fully living the theory. It seems this concept is much easier to describe conceptually than it is to transform into reality.

Ultimately, I am aware of the forces at work in our lives that keep us from claiming our skills and living our talents. But more importantly, I also know the joy and sense of meaning that can be experienced when you choose to become driven by Your Talent Advantage. In other words, the benefits of living Your Talent Advantage certainly outweigh any potential hurdles you might face along the way.

When my father died in 2002, I had the painful task of going through his things and deciding what to do with them. I remember opening one of his dresser drawers and discovering two or three shirts that were brand new and still folded and pinned as they came from the store. My father was the type of person who would continue to wear something until it was ready to fall apart, even when he had a suitable replacement. If asked why he didn’t start wearing the new one he would reply “I’m saving it.” The irony of dying while still owning thirty year old brand new unworn shirts that were being saved would be laughable if it were not so sad.

Like my father’s new shirts, the time to use Your Talent Advantage is now. If you wait for “the right time” or until you “really need it” it is going to be too late. Life will pass you by as you continue to work away in jobs and careers that use skills and roles that wear you out and leave you exhausted. Someday you will arrive at the same destination that we all do. Do you want to arrive fulfilled by the journey having lived a life of meaning, full of joy? Then make a decision to fully use Your Talent Advantage. Make it today.

About the Author:

Gary Jordan, Ph.D., has over 27 years of experience in clinical psychology, behavioral assessment, individual development, and coaching. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology – Berkeley.  He’s the co-founder of Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., a consulting firm that specializes in helping people discover their true skills and talents. www.aciforcoaches.com

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Success Attitude

Best of the Janes: Marketing Methods for Success

Best%20of%20the%20Janes%20Marketing%20Methods%20for%20Success.jpg
Some business owners love to spend time strategizing and marketing, leaving the details to employees. Others simply don’t have the time to strategize, and therefore, they must implement marketing systems with maximum efficiency. Whatever they choose, business owners should be aware of the resources each type of system requires, and the results each type of system yields.
A recent study from Jane Out of the Box, an authority on female entrepreneurs, reveals there are five distinct types of women in business. Based on professional market research of more than 2,500 women in business, this study shows that each type of business owner has a unique approach to running a business and therefore each one has a unique combination of needs. This article outlines several considerations business owners should make, regardless of which type of business owner they are.
* Develop systematic, measurable marketing methods. Since every type of marketing requires a certain investment, a business owner will need to track any marketing she employs to know whether it’s worth the investment. For example, if she’s using Google “pay per click” to drive people to her web site, she should pay careful attention to how many people click on the ad that comes up with a certain combination of keywords. Is it producing at least the number of web site visits she desired? If an entrepreneur is using Twitter or Facebook to drive people to her site, she can keep track of how many of her followers or friends go directly from her tweets or her status updates to her site. These numbers indicate whether her efforts (financially and time-wise) are paying off.
* Determine exactly who the marketing will target, and which benefits this population seeks. In doing so, a business owner’s marketing will be as efficient as possible – so whatever resources she invests will produce a greater return. To easily and quickly determine her target market, a business owner can survey existing customers to find out why they chose the business and what they enjoy about working with the company. Meanwhile, business owners can gather testimonials from customers – this is a great tool for word of mouth marketing, and doesn’t require large investments of either time or money.
* Get clear on the business concept and business model. Boil it down. Being able to release a concise, powerful statement about the business concept defines exactly what the company offers and how it benefits clients. For example, an executive coach may say, “I coach professionals to help them earn a better profit and find a satisfactory work-life balance,” even if what she does is actually much more complicated or is completed in many more steps. Also, examine the business model to make sure it’s realistic to expect the business to make money.
* Get clear on the marketing message. If a business owner is feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of projects or clients, she should become very selective about to whom she is marketing her products or services so that she attracts a limited number of clients with whom she really wants to work – and therefore a limited number of very pleasant work hours. This will lead to a manageable workload of more enjoyable projects.
* Pair up with other entrepreneurs who offer similar or complementary services. Networking and affiliate marketing are inexpensive in terms of time and money, and provide opportunities for gaining new clients without much effort. By leveraging relationships with entrepreneurs who offer similar or complementary services, a business owner can successfully gain new clients. Similarly, by attending networking events with likeminded business owners, a business owner can get the word out about her own products and services, and can get advice from others in similar situations.
Marketing is one sure-fire way to grow a business. Depending on whether an entrepreneur wants fast growth, slow growth or maintenance, various marketing methods exist to meet various needs and desires.
About the Author:
Michele DeKinder-Smith is the founder of Jane out of the Box, an online resource dedicated to the women entrepreneur community. Discover more incredibly useful information for running a small business by taking the FREE Jane Types Assessment at Jane out of the Box. Offering networking and marketing opportunities, key resources and mentorship from successful women in business, Jane Out of the Box is online at www.janeoutofthebox.com