Category: People & Relationships

Article Contributed by Lynda-Ross Vega

People with the Vision Style are dynamic, energetic risk-takers who inspire, encourage, and motivate followers with their optimistic commitment to a long-range vision. Vision leaders attract followers with their ability to paint a vivid picture of the future.

Flexible and enthusiastic, individuals with this style tend to be open to new opportunities and courses of action, whatever those may be; for them, the failure of any particular direction, plan, or strategy is only a temporary setback. How they get where they are going is less important than getting there—so they will quickly regroup, find a new plan, and move forward. With their long-term goal constantly in sight, Vision leaders motivate others to join them with, sweeping them up in their excitement and commitment to action.

Examples of Vision leadership in the real world are easy to find because their combination of daring and charisma make such leaders highly visible. In the political realm, Vision leadership can be seen in Franklin D. Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, and Martin Luther King Jr., Ann Richards and Barbara Jordan. Actors George Clooney and Angelina Jolie exemplify Vision leadership, as do military leaders General Douglas MacArthur, Colin Powell, and Sioux war chief Crazy Horse.

The Adjustments Leadership Style

People with the Adjustments Style lead by educating. These leaders tend to possess an enormous catalog of knowledge, which they share willingly when the situation calls for it. Rather than jumping in and taking charge of every situation, individuals with the Adjustments style prefer to sit back and observe until those who need their expertise are ready to receive it.

A great leadership strength of the Adjustments style is the ability to patiently show people how to respond clearly and thoughtfully to events and situations. Adjustments leaders possess a wealth of relevant detail and perceive connections that others almost invariably miss. Their calm and unhurried manner, meticulous research, and dedication to pursuing the wisest course of action attracts followers who appreciate the patient confidence they bring to leadership roles.

Adjustments leaders do not often seek the spotlight, but are propelled into it by their followers.  In the political realm, there are three U.S. presidents whose public behavior suggests that they possess the Adjustments style: George H. W. Bush, Abraham Lincoln, and Barrack Obama.  Other examples of Adjustments leadership include Julia Childs and Meryl Streep.

*It is impossible to determine another’s Perceptual Style (PS) by observation alone. This is especially true for public figures. The examples provided ‘appear’, based on their public behavior, to be the PS for which they are used as examples. However, without a complete Perceptual Style Assessment, their particular PS is simply an educated guess.

About the Author:

Lynda-Ross Vega: A partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd., Lynda-Ross specializes in helping entrepreneurs and coaches build dynamite teams and systems that WORK. She is co-creator of Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary psychological assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their deepest potentials for success. For free information on how to succeed as an entrepreneur or coach, create a thriving business and build your bottom line doing more of what you love, visit www.ACIforCoaches.com and www.ACIforEntrepreneurs.com.

Article Contributed by Lisa Cherney

When I was a junior in high school, my life changed forever. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and I was faced with the harsh reality that life is short. Her cancer shaped the way I live my life, even now two decades later.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and last Sunday I walked with my mom – who has been cancer free for 24 years – in the San Diego American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. It’s a noncompetitive walk supporting the American Cancer Society’s unique mission to fight breast cancer on four fronts: research, education, advocacy and service programs.

Getting involved in a cause you believe in is not only good for yourself and the cause – it can also be good for your business. Yes, you can do good, and do good for your business, at the same time.

The key to getting community relations to work for you is to leverage your involvement into positive marketing. Do your customers know you donate time and/or money to those activities? Do you get sales because of your involvement? Are you building your brand and/or awareness of your business because of your donations? If you’re not sure, then consider some of the following activities:

• Devote a section on your website telling people about your involvement
• Use your website to help raise money and/or volunteers for the causes you support
• If there’s an event involved, market your services during it
• Send out press releases detailing your involvement
• Have your logo added to the organization’s marketing materials
• Have the organization link to your website

There are lots of benefits when you and your business become involved in the community, including building credibility for you and your business; building relationship with customers; positive public relations; and general goodwill.

Whatever cause you get involved with, make sure it is coming from the heart. People can sense if you’re not being sincere, so make sure you truly do believe in the cause if you’re going to support it. With any luck, you’ll discover your own win-win-win situation.

About the Author

Lisa Cherney is a Marketing Intuitive and President & Founder of Conscious Marketing™. Lisa has helped thousands of business owners tap into their intuition and market their businesses from the ‘Inside Out’. For 15 years she worked at Fortune 500 companies and top advertising agencies. Lisa tells her story in her co-authored book “Inspiration to Realization,” available at www.ConsciousMarketing.com. Conscious Marketing also offers workshops and coaching. Visit her website for more details or call 887-771-0156.

Article Contributed by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin

I’m sure you know the beloved fairytale “Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs.” Remember the part of the fairytale when the witch looks in the mirror and says, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” And the response the witch hears back is: “Snow White.”

This unexpected response from the mirror to the witch’s question takes the witch by utter surprise and leaves her seething in anger. The mirror revealed the truth that everybody else knew, but that the witch was certainly not expecting. Mirrors reveal truths that we are not always willing to see when we look into them. And the mirror is – beyond a shadow of a doubt – the secret, most effective relationship tool you must have that holds the key for rekindling love and romance in your relationship.

I’m not talking about looks here, but the true you that is reflected in the looking glass. An honest look in the mirror is virtually guaranteed to rekindle love and romance in your relationship because all change starts with changing ourselves. Look in the mirror frequently and with honesty because we cannot change anyone but the person being reflected back at us in the mirror we hold in our hand.

Why is this true? We are often reluctant, and maybe even a little afraid to take a long hard look in the mirror to see what baggage we are bringing to the table that is negatively impacting our relationship. We find it very difficult to take a look in the mirror because, truth be told, it is so much easier to just point our finger and place all the problems in our relationship on our partner.

Take a moment and think about your own romantic relationship. I would bet you dollars to donuts you could provide me with a laundry list of complaints and character flaws about your partner in a New York minute. Right? However, we are often hard pressed to provide a list of our own personal character flaws and limitations. Yet, our character traits and issues might very well be the ones responsible for detouring our relationship off the course of true love and intimacy that we so desperately crave.

So often we are unforgiving, intolerant and most critical when we see in our partner our own imperfections. But we refuse to acknowledge these flaws and we avoid looking in the mirror at all costs so we don’t have to face them! To keep love and romance alive in our relationship, it is imperative that we pull out our mirror and reflect upon what we are really seeing – not what we want to see but what is truly there. The chasm between these two thoughts can be as wide as the Grand Canyon.

Next time you are about to blame and/or criticize your partner – stop and take a long hard look in the mirror. Maybe you will see that you too are also contributing and responsible for the difficulties you are “facing” in your relationship. Whether you face it or not, the truth remains the same. So pick up your mirror and you will begin to change the only person in your relationship that you can truly change – yourself!

About the Author:

During the past 25 years, renowned relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin has helped hundreds of people rekindle romance and reignite passion in their relationships. The solutions in her Relationship Toolbox™ help couples re-build romance so intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can flourish. Through her successful 25-year marriage and her experience of raising 4 children, Dr. Patty Ann has earned an international reputation for saving relationships. To reignite your flames of passion, visit her site at www.drpattyann.com.

Article Contributed by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin

Money makes the world go round. It’s also is the number one reason why couples fight.

Here are 7 ways or guidelines for handling money issues throughout your relationship so you don’t have to end up fighting about money. Consider these guidelines to be your relationship tools for keeping the spark alive in your relationship whether you are dealing with the richer or poorer times in your relationship.

1. Know thyself. Be aware of what money really represents to you (this might require a little bit of soul searching here) – and do not impose your attitudes and beliefs about money onto your partner.

2. Know what money really represents to your partner. And don’t try to convince them that they should be more like you!

3. Communicate your individual attitudes and values about money to each other so you develop a joint strategy you are both comfortable with. Think of this as your financial blueprint for relationship harmony! Develop a clear, concise plan for how you use your money: how you spend it and how you save it. If you happen to come into a financial windfall – an inheritance or you hit the lottery (hey, somebody has to win) – discuss and develop a strategy for how you will use that money. Money that people “fall” into is often the start of a very slippery slope for the unraveling of relationships if plans for these monies are not discussed.

4. When you find you are at a crossroads when it comes to money issues, clearly communicate your differences to each other using respect as your baseline. This will avoid all the finger pointing, blaming and accusations inherent in the following statements: “You don’t care how I feel about blah, blah, blah when it comes to spending money.”

5. When differences regarding financial decisions come up (and they will) respect the differences without accusing the other of being cheap, irresponsible or spending money like it’s going out of style. Doing this will keep the issue focused on the differences regarding the finances and avoid the pitfall of entering the dead man’s zone of character assassination!

6. Keep money in its proper perspective in your relationship. Money does not define your relationship or your love for each other. Do not allow money to come between the two of you. Keep your love and respect for each other at the core of your relationship and defend this love at all costs!

7. Remember that love is the platform whereby all financial decisions will be made –“in good times and in bad, for richer for poorer.”

Money is an absolute necessity in life. If we use love as our platform and respect as our baseline, money will have its appropriate place in our relationship. Although all differences regarding the handling of money might not always be reconciled, we will at least be able to “agree to disagree” respectfully regarding money issues. Let’s not forget what we all know to be true – money is merely a commodity in our lives. Money cannot buy love and it cannot buy happiness!

About the Author:

During the past 25 years, renowned relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin has helped hundreds of people rekindle romance and reignite passion in their relationships. The solutions in her Relationship Toolbox™ help couples re-build romance so intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can flourish. Through her successful 25-year marriage and her experience of raising 4 children, Dr. Patty Ann has earned an international reputation for saving relationships. To reignite your flames of passion, visit her site at www.drpattyann.com.

Article Contributed by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin

The holiday season is here and with it comes stress. Sometimes this stress can be too much for a relationship. If you feel your relationship is teetering on the edge, here are five effective and very do-able relationship tools you can use now to prevent a relationship break up.

1. Take a time out from each other. If your partner has just told you they want to break up or want a divorce – or if you feel this way – take a time out from each other to gather your thoughts. When emotions run high, our ability to think rationally often goes right out the window. So take about a week or so to think about your relationship in totality.

During this time, try to remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place and focus on the positive aspects of your partner and your relationship. We don’t realize how caught up we get in the negative aspects of our relationship and forget all the positive aspects. Take time to regroup your thoughts and feelings and revisit your relationship after this time-out period with a new mindset. Think about respectful ways to approach your problems with your partner once you have reunited and see each other again.

2. Look in the mirror. Take a long hard look at the issues you have brought to the difficulties you are having in your relationship. We get so caught up in what annoys us about our partner, we often forget that we are not exactly a walk in the park to live with either. We all bring our own emotional baggage into our relationship from our past relationships and childhood. As I tell couples, “There is no such thing as a one-handed clap.” Sure it takes a while to work through our own baggage, but acknowledging our issues to ourself – and our partner – will go a long way in making your relationship work.

3. Tackle the issues creating conflict. Many times we ignore conflict in our relationship hoping the issues will just go away. It just doesn’t work that way. The longer we ignore conflict/issues in our relationship, the deeper the conflict becomes. Ignored conflict(s) in our relationship is like an untreated wound. Left untreated long enough, your minor wound may end up getting infected, leading to more serious complications. So address the issues in your relationship once you have taken a time out from each other, and acknowledge the issues you bring to the problems in your relationship.

4. Prioritize the relationship. By the time couples are ready to break up, they have been spending less and less time together. Not spending enough time with each other is often what creates many problems in your relationship to begin with. This problem is so easy to solve. Schedule and prioritize time together. Two important rules apply to these date times – you must be able to have a conversation (taking a walk, going to dinner) and you are not allowed to discuss problems in your relationship during these “dates.” The point of these scheduled times together is to recreate the positive feelings that have been lost (or are significantly diminished) in the relationship.

5. Act now! Don’t wait for issues to solve themselves by brushing them under the rug and hoping they will go away. Take action right now to begin repairing your relationship. It can be a small baby step, but hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Doing nothing about the problems in your relationship ensures nothing in your relationship will change. So take action on all of the steps mentioned above and you will be well on the way to laying the foundation for a make up – instead of a break up.

About the Author:

During the past 25 years, renowned relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin has helped hundreds of people rekindle romance and reignite passion in their relationships. The solutions in her Relationship Toolbox™ help couples re-build romance so intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can flourish. Through her successful 25-year marriage and her experience of raising 4 children, Dr. Patty Ann has earned an international reputation for saving relationships. To reignite your flames of passion, visit her site at www.drpattyann.com.