Category: Communication Skills

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Communication Skills

How to Confront Without Conflict

Article Contributed by Roberta Chinsky Matuson

Most people are reluctant to address problems they are having with an employee, co-worker or even their boss. Yet, pretending everything is fine certainly won’t improve the situation. Here is just one example of why this isn’t in the best interest of the employee or yourself.

Just today, I spoke with a client who was describing an employee who wasn’t quite working out like he had hoped. He shared with me how this employee was refusing to take on projects that were well within the scope of her job description and how unpleasant she was making life for everyone. Yet, instead of confronting this employee, he is going to wait for her to find another position within the company so he can be rid of her.

I suggested a different approach. Why not simply tell this employee that she has gone as far as she is going to go in his workgroup and that it is time for her to move on? This is certainly in her best interest as well as his, and more than likely will take less time than waiting for her to bid adieu. He thought my idea was brilliant!

Whenever we think about conflict, we tend to think of it in a negative connotation. Yet conflict can be good. Here’s why. Conflict fuels innovation. It helps take good ideas and make them great. Here is an example of what I mean by this. Have you ever noticed that the best ideas seem to come from other ideas? Think about what would happen if everyone went along with whatever was suggested and stopped there? Do you think such innovative products like smart phones would exist if no one in the room challenged the idea that a phone could be used for more than just making and receiving calls? You can close your eyes and imagine the sparks flying in the room as each participant defended his position.

I got to experience this first hand in the early days of mobile phones when I worked closely with an executive at NYNEX, which is now owned by Verizon. I could see this executive’s counterparts didn’t quite know what to make of her. She was bold and forward thinking, uncommon in companies like that back in the early nineties. She had a way of confronting the naysayers, and turning them into her advocates. I noticed that when she was in situations that appeared to be contentious, she would win the other people over by telling them what was in it for them. Worked like a charm.

The executive that I spoke with today could have learned a lot from this woman. He knows his problem employee is very interested in being promoted. He also knows this certainly isn’t going to happen on his dime. He needs to be honest with her and let her know that she has gone as far as she is going to go within his workgroup. Most likely this conversation will not come as a shock to this employee. In fact, more than likely she will be relieved, as deep down inside she knows this as well.

This is a conversation that may feel uncomfortable to him, but in the end if he plays his cards right, she’ll walk out the door thanking him for giving her permission to seek a workplace where she will be an asset. And he will be a much stronger manager as a result of this experience. Now that’s what I call a win-win situation.

About the Author:

Roberta Chinsky Matuson is the President of Human Resource Solutions (www.yourhrexperts.com)  and author of the highly acclaimed book, Suddenly in Charge: Managing Up, Managing Down, Succeeding All Around (Nicholas Brealey, January 2011). Her firm helps organizations create exceptional workplaces that deliver extraordinary results. Sign up to receive a complimentary subscription to Roberta’s monthly newsletter, HR Matters.

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Communication Skills

Focus on the WIIFT for a Powerful Presentation

Article Contributed by Sharpenz

A while back I had the opportunity to work for nearly two days with the best-of-the-best sales pros in a client company. We spent our time together focused on taking their game up another notch with a workshop titled “Powerful Presentations.” One thing I noted is that really successful people generally are very open to new ideas and skills that will allow them to be even more successful!

A key idea I shared in this workshop was that our sales presentations are more powerful when we focus on WIIFT – What’s in it for Them – from the open of the presentation through the close.

To engage your audience, it’s incredibly important to tie the message about YOU into what it means to THEM. Who wants to listen to 10 or 15 minutes of background on the speaker and their company? Do you really care if they have been in business for over 75 years? About three minutes into the “background” about you, they have disengaged – you can see it in their body language. Instead, focus on WHY it is beneficial to them that your company has been in business so long. Will it mean a better product? Or more expertise that will solve a problem for them?

Initially there were some skeptics in the group who weren’t sure the WIIFT was THAT important. Until the first practice presentations began and each professional had to sit through all the other presentations. Being on the other side allowed them to feel what its’ like to have a lot of information shared AT them and not tied specifically TO them.

As we ended the workshop, these successful sales professionals commented that it IS powerful to make our message not about us – but that it is hard to do! The more successful and experienced we are, the harder it may be to do something different. To send a message adapted to our audience, with only enough detail that is important to them and then to link WHAT we do into WIIFT statements is not easy. But it is worth the effort for an engaged audience!

How much effort does it take to link the WHAT of your message to the WIIFT? Post your comments and let the rest us know we are not alone!

About the Author:

Sharpenz is dedicated to providing sales managers the resources and tools they need to energize, engage and equip their sales team to sell more each week. Our 30-minute power sales booster meetings help companies increase sales by providing the right tools and training – fast. Designed with the busy manager in mind, Sharpenz ready-to-go sales training kits will give your sales team the opportunity to grow and earn more – all in a half hour of power.  To learn more, visit www.sharpenz.com and sign up for your free ready-to-go sales training kit today!

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Communication Skills

Communication Styles in the Workplace: Goals vs. Flow

Article Contributed by Gary M. Jordan

As coaches, we spend a lot of time helping people understand the distinctions between the six different Perceptual Styles. Why? Because these distinctions are essential to understanding conflicts that arise in the workplace (and everywhere else, too).

A classic example is a corporate client we had that was in serious danger of bankruptcy. They hired a “turn-around” specialist who had the Goals Perceptual Style. His initial plan involved some severe “reductions in force” and the shutting down of all projects and lines of business that were not part of the organization’s core. The time frame he outlined was aggressive.

In explaining the Goals Perceptual Style, I often use a military analogy: If you tell a person with the Goals Style that the objective is to “take that hill”, they will immediately march forward, straight to the top of the hill, dispatching any resistance they meet along the way, and perhaps even sustain heavy losses to their own platoon in the process.

While the example is simplistic, the image conveys the Goals approach—direct, immediate, tenacious, determined, and fully focused on the objective. These qualities make such people a tremendous asset in a crisis, as they have the ability to see the most important objective and drive towards it, ignoring everything else.

This particular organization, however, had been around for over a hundred years and had a long history and tradition. Part of that tradition was placing a high value on people—an attitude of “taking care of our own”. The specialist failed to take these organizational values into account at the beginning of the process when he brought all the managers together and laid out his restructuring plan.

Three of the key managers involved had the Flow Perceptual Style. Those with this style are the keepers of history and tradition, and they understand the human dynamics involved in organizations better than any other Style. People with the Flow perspective see the impact on the human system that changes will create, and they know how to subtly use and influence the human community within an organization to mitigate, diminish or even block such changes.

This group of Flow managers began “doing their thing,” and before the specialist knew what was happening, he found himself in front of the company’s CEO defending and then finally backing down on the abrupt nature of his plans. He was shocked by this turn of events because he knew that unless the organization changed quickly, they would not survive. What he missed was that because of the power of the organization’s history and traditions, it could not survive if it tried to change so quickly.

This is a common Goals versus Flow conflict, and although the example is from a corporate client, this type of conflict can occur just about anywhere: in coaching relationships, in small business environments and even at home—anywhere these two styles interact.

People with the Goals Style step up to engage a problem and boldly and directly lay out a solution that will achieve the desired end, but ignore the impact and ripple effects it will have on people, the environment, and clients. People with the Flow Style see these impacts only too well and begin to refine, modify, discreetly block, or completely ignore those directives in order to soften the “damage”. The more Goals pushes, the more Flow backs away, and the more Flow backs away, the more Goals pushes.

As in all conflicts, of course, there is truth on both sides, and a solution lies in accepting that each view is limited.

In our example, the specialist had to accept that his ability to understand the human impact of his plan on the organization was limited, and that his plan would have a much greater chance of success if he listened to the managers’ advice on how to deal with its impact. The managers had to acknowledge the reality of the dire situation they were in—and accept that if they blocked all of the changes proposed, the organization would disappear.

Conflicts can be resolved by acknowledging the value that other Perceptual Styles bring to the table, and by accepting that one’s own understanding, without the input of others’, is both limited and incomplete.

About the Author:

Gary M. Jordan, Ph.D.: With a PhD and MA in clinical psychology, Gary Jordan is a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd, where he has been advising and mentoring people in all areas of life for the past 20 years. Gary is the visionary behind the Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary psychological assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their deepest potentials for success. For free information on how to succeed as an entrepreneur or coach, create a thriving business and build your bottom line doing more of what you love, visit www.ACIforCoaches.com and www.ACIforEntrepreneurs.com.

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Communication Skills

Relationships and Communication: Transmitter vs. Receiver

Article Contributed by Gary M. Jordan

In Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers, the author writes:

“Western communication has what linguists call a “transmitter orientation” – that is, it is considered the responsibility of the speaker to communicate ideas clearly and unambiguously. . . But Korea, like many Asian countries, is receiver oriented. It is up to the listener to make sense of what is being said.” p. 216

As far as the 6 innate Perceptual Styles go, there’s a block I’ve seen over and over again regarding communication between the Activity and Flow Styles, and I believe it can be explained by this concept.

Activity is clearly transmitter oriented, as people with this Style use plenty of contextual information to ensure that the receiver understands what’s being communicated. People with the Flow Style, on the other hand, use a subtle and nuanced combination of words that requires the listener to work to fully understand what is being conveyed.

Unfortunately, this difference in orientation is a set-up for conflict no matter which direction the communication is moving in.

When Activity is talking to Flow, Flow quickly interprets the meaning of the message and can become bored and/or offended by what they perceive as Activity’s excessive verbiage.

When Flow is talking to Activity, Activity misses much of the meaning that Flow intends because Flow’s nuanced choice of words is lost on Activity (who is waiting for context).  Activity often becomes irritated by what they perceive as partial communication by Flow.

In reflecting on the concept of communication orientation in relation to Perceptual Styles, I realized that there is a clear delineation among all six of the Perceptual Styles.

Three of the six—Activity, Vision, and Goals—are transmitter oriented, while the other three—Methods, Adjustments, and Flow—are receiver oriented. Within each group of three, each Perceptual Style uses the orientation a little differently and with different intent, but the orientation is the same.

Here’s how it breaks down by the Perceptual Style, based on the communication characteristics unique to that Style.

The Transmitter Orientations:

•    Activity makes sure to provide ample context when speaking and gives multiple examples through anecdotes that illustrate their point. This is to make sure that there is a solid connection and that ‘you are with me.’

•    Vision uses persuasive and inspiring language to paint a picture of what they want you to understand. This is to make sure that you are enthusiastic, enrolled and that ‘you buy into my perspective’.

•    Goals issues directives and commands and requires feedback in order to ensure that the listener clearly understands. This is to make sure that there is no ambiguity and that ‘you understand what I want you to do.’

The Receiver Orientations:

•    Methods delivers information in a matter-of-fact manner that requires the listener to put the data together themselves. This is because the correct conclusion is obvious to this Style and ‘you should draw the same conclusion I do’.

•    Adjustments provides detailed, thorough, and precise information that displays the elegance of the topic but requires the listener to provide a context for its relevance. This is because ‘you should be intrigued by the sophistication and complexity of what I am sharing.’

•    Flow speaks in generalities, employing subtly and nuance that allows the listener maximum leeway to respond in order to keep the conversation going, but this also requires the listener to declare preferences, needs, and wants. This is because ‘we’ve connected and you should care enough to understand my unstated intent.’

All of which underscores the fact that, in order to be effective communicators, we need to understand our own Perceptual Style (and how to make adjustments for each of the five other Styles).

About the Author:

Gary M. Jordan, Ph.D.: With a PhD and MA in clinical psychology, Gary Jordan is a partner at Vega Behavioral Consulting, Ltd, where he has been advising and mentoring people in all areas of life for the past 20 years. Gary is the visionary behind the Perceptual Style Theory, a revolutionary psychological assessment system that teaches people how to unleash their deepest potentials for success. For free information on how to succeed as an entrepreneur or coach, create a thriving business and build your bottom line doing more of what you love, visit www.ACIforCoaches.com and www.ACIforEntrepreneurs.com

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Communication Skills

Making the New Business Pitch: How to Get More Clients by Avoiding 3 Deadly Presentation Mistakes

Article Contributed by Terri Langhans, Certified Speaking Professional

Congratulations! Your firm made it to the short list and you’ve been invited to the new client interview. That’s what they call it, anyway.  In reality it’s a new business pitch that could be a shoot-out between you and “the other guy” or a line up of back-to-back, dog-and-pony, show-your-credentials presentations where the client parades you and the competition in and out of a conference room all day.

Regardless of the staging or format, one thing’s for sure:  It’s your make or break chance to win the business.

– What will you say in your business presentation that will set you apart?
– What will you show that proves your expertise?
– How do you hit the prospect’s hot buttons without stepping on a land mine?

Here are some traps, tips and tools you can use to make your new business pitch or interview stand out and win more clients.

New Business Pitch Trap #1: Too much stuff.

You know your stuff, and you want to share it. We all do. We figure the more stuff we share, the more credible we’ll be and the more likely we are to get hired.  Wrong. It bores people into a stupor or frustrates them into belligerence.

True story:  I recently worked with a client who had more than 100 slides for a 30-minute interview! They whittled it down to 23, and still came off as harried and rushed. The rule of thumb is about two minutes per slide. Whether you have 30 minutes or an hour or more, picture your audience extending you a thimble’s worth of interest. Don’t fill it with a fire hose.

New Business Pitch Trap #2: Failure to get to the point.

Instead of thinking about all the stuff you want to say, that you hope you get time to say, think about this:  When you leave the room, what is the single most important thing you want remembered and repeated by the client? What do you want them to say when someone asks, “So, what do think about Acme Engineering?”

A: “Well, they talked about this, and they showed us that, and they’re located there, and they were pretty easy to talk to…”

B: “They’ve got the experience we need and can hit the ground running.”

Obviously (I hope it’s obvious), you want B, or something like it. That’s the point of your presentation, and everything you say, or do, or show needs to support, defend, prove, demonstrate or bring to life that point.

HINT:  Your point is NOT “hire us.” That’s your call to action. It’s what you want them to do as a result of being convinced of your point. Don’t confuse the two.

New Business Pitch Trap #3: Making the presentation all about you.

No one cares about you. Even though they put you on the short list, invited you to present and specifically said they want you to talk about your firm, they don’t mean it. Prospects don’t care about you. They care about themselves, their work and what you will do for them.

So here’s how to convert your credentials and capabilities to something your new clients will care about:

1. Before you create your presentation or pitch, go ahead and describe your firm, the team, your qualifications or experience. This is an exercise; don’t do it in front of the prospect. Not yet, anyway.

2. Now, isolate at the most three or four key attributes that you think are the most important to the specific decision makers on this project.

3. Now that you have the features, look for the benefits—the need or the want that is satisfied by those features.

4. Go beyond the benefit and drill down even further. Look at those features and benefits and fill in the blank:  “Why is your company’s experience important personally to this decision maker?”

5. Look at your answer and ask it again. “Why is that important personally to this decision maker?” Or, “What is it about your answer that is important, personally to this decision maker?”

6. Ask it again. “Why is whatever you just answered important personally to the decision maker? “

7. Keep going and you will have a list of want or need words and phrases that are all about the client. Save money, maximize budget, higher trust, no surprises, more flexibility, more confidence, less stress, better communication. These are the words that not only help you connect to what clients care about, they set you apart, increase your credibility and help convince clients to hire you.

Once you complete this exercise you’ll know your point, as well as what’s important to your prospect. From there you’ll be able to decide which facts, features, stories and benefits will prove that point. Which case studies or examples will make it clear? Remember the thimble and choose you content wisely. Make it more about them, less about you, and you’ll have greater success.

You’ll find this information, plus much more in my free “Help Them Hire You” new business pitch and presentation tip sheet at: http://www.BlahBlahBlah.us/presentationtipsheet.html. Grab it for free , get to the point, and get more business coming your way.

About the author:

Certified Speaking Professional Terri Langhans is the former CEO of a $30 million national ad agency and marketing firm that she grew from scratch. Now she works with entrepreneurs and small business owners who want their marketing and presentations to stand out and get better results. Download her free Help Them Hire You! tip sheet at www.BlahBlahBlah.us/presentationtipsheet.html