Category: Communication Skills

Article Contributed by Jeff Beals

Your English teacher isn’t going to like this.

Don’t get me wrong; the grammar and composition you learned in high school English class are critically important, but those rules don’t necessarily apply all the time.

Allow me to explain.

Your old English teacher would have preferred you write, “By carefully employing certain words, a professional gains a powerful advantage when selling his or her products or when trying to persuade others to accept his or her ideas.”

Here’s a slightly different version: “By carefully employing certain words, you gain a powerful advantage when selling your products or when trying to persuade others to accept your ideas.”

What’s the difference?

These two statements essentially say the same thing, but the first one is written in “third person,” while the second one is written in “second person.”  English teachers would prefer the first statement.  In formal writing, it is generally frowned upon to use the words, “I” or “you.”  Scholarly journals, text books and respected periodicals are normally written in third person.

Proper English is a beautiful thing, but when it comes to succeeding in today’s loud and crowded marketplace, you benefit by catching people’s attention.  You are more likely to accomplish your goals if you relate to people.  Using the word “you” (and “your”) helps you do that.

No matter what your profession, there are times when your success depends on your ability to sell, pitch, market, convince, persuade, trade, suggest, coach, counsel, explain, and/or motivate another person. That all becomes easier if you address your reader or listener directly in the second person.

So, if you’re explaining something in an email, try to use the word “you.”  If you’re giving a speech to prospective clients, paint a picture with “you.”  If you want to empower and motivate your colleagues, use “you” to make your message resonate with them.

The word, “you” personalizes a conversation.  It brings down barriers and erodes the formalities that may exist between you and the other person.

“You” can help prospective clients picture themselves using your products and services. For instance, if you are selling a time-share condo overlooking the ocean, your would-be buyer might be receptive to this marketing message:

“Picture yourself spending two weeks here every year. You can sleep in each morning in this king-sized bed, windows open with the sea breeze gently waking you up before you head over to your ultra-modern kitchen for your morning coffee.  You step out onto your deck overlooking the massive resort pool. Your only problem here in paradise will be deciding what to do.  Will you relax by the pool or will you take one of the hundreds of day adventures waiting for you in the surrounding area?”

Where do I sign up?

When I’m writing books or delivering speeches, I try to put “you” into the text even if the story I’m telling is about somebody else. When I use a highly successful person’s life or accomplishments to illustrate a point, I occasionally like to slip in “you” and “your” when I’m really talking about “him/his” or “her/hers.”  Audience members are more likely to remember the point, if they feel like they are part of the story.

YOU will be a much more effective seller, marketer and persuader if YOU simply remember to transpose YOUR audience into YOUR stories.

One last thing – I have one important disclaimer for you.

There is a particular use of the word “you” that may backfire on you.  Careful communicators avoid saying, “you must,” “you should,” “you better” or “you have to.”  That’s bossy.  It turns people off.  Such language reminds you of when you were in trouble as a kid, like when your mother demanded:

“You have to clean your room!”

“You better finish your homework before you go outside!”

About the Author:

Jeff Beals is an award-winning author, who helps professionals do more business and have a greater impact on the world through effective sales, marketing and personal branding techniques. As a professional speaker, he delivers energetic and humorous keynote speeches and workshops to audiences worldwide. You can learn more and follow his “Business Motivation Blog” at JeffBeals.com.

Article Contributed By Mark Hunter “The Sales Hunter”

Social media has blown on to the scene the last couple of years with the popular websites of Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter and many others. Nobody can tell for sure what social media will look like five years from now, but what everyone can agree upon is that the concept of using the internet to socially communicate is not going away.

For salespeople, an important question is, “Can social media help in negotiating?”

My answer is, “Yes, it can.” I’m not saying you should directly negotiate with another person by way of a social media (although I suppose there might be exceptions where this is possible). What I am saying is that social media is a perfect tool that someone can use to help frame a situation or build their on-line reputation before the negotiations even begin.

Negotiations are won or lost in two critical areas. The first is the period of time leading up to the start of the negotiations, when both parties are preparing to negotiate. The second is at the end, when the two parties are working out the details of the negotiation.

With regard to social media, I am not an advocate of conducting business negotiations in public. The reason I feel this way is because it is important throughout the negotiation process to maintain respect and integrity for everyone involved. This can be very hard to ensure if stuff is being thrown around for others to read and see. This is the reason I say the best use of social media in negotiations is before the negotiations even begin.

Using social media before negotiations begin allows you to establish the context of who you are and what your expected outcome might be. Best example of this is Donald Trump. He uses social media tools and the media in general to let everyone know who and what he is.

Trump’s goal is to make his brand known, and his brand really is himself. He wants his brand to appear favorable. He does this by coming across as a shrewd businessperson, and he uses social media to further this persona. On the one hand, this gives him an upper hand in any negotiations. On the other hand it also alerts everyone who might be planning to do business with him that he most likely is going to be very tough.

Conversely, a person who has used social media to cast a tough but fair image is billionaire investor Warren Buffett. The image he has crafted in social media and the media in general is one of a very smart long-term investor known for making quick deals based on how he sees a situation. The result of this image is many people might be far more willing to enter into negotiations with Warren Buffett under the belief they would be treated more fairly than if they were negotiating with Donald Trump.

The examples I use are extremes, but you see the picture. This is why I am a very strong believer that anyone who is planning to do any amount of negotiating with others needs to make sure their internet image is the one they want.

Use social media sites to position you and your company in the manner you want to be seen by others. Be active in how you do this. If you’re not active yourself, other people may craft an image of you that is not accurate.

If you are about to enter into negotiations with another party over a business contract or anything else for that matter, the other party likely will “Google” your name or company to see what they can learn about you. (This is a very common practice).

The other party is going to read all they can about you, and what they read may impact how they choose to negotiate with you.

Some people may like to believe that social media does not have a place in the professional business world. Sorry, but that is old-school thinking (or maybe I should say, “That is so 2009 thinking!”) Today, search engines capture everything, and people expect to find out everything. When someone can’t find something on the web, they become that much more suspicious.

Finally, don’t think for a moment the web is going to become any less powerful in the years to come. Just the opposite is true. It’s going to become more powerful. The sooner you accept the reality that you need a solid social media strategy, the better. The strategy of what you post, how you position yourself and so forth is up to you. Choose wisely and be consistent.

Always remember that the respect you show to others and the integrity you live by are priceless. If you build your social media strategy around respect and integrity, you’ll be well on your way to positioning yourself properly for today and tomorrow.

About the Author
Mark Hunter, “The Sales Hunter,” is a sales expert who speaks to thousands each year on how to increase their sales profitability. For more information, to receive a free weekly email sales tip, or to read his Sales Motivation Blog, visit www.TheSalesHunter.com. You can also follow him on www.Facebook.com/TheSalesHunter, www.Twitter.com/TheSalesHunter and www.LinkedIn.com/in/MarkHunter.

Article Contributed by Skip Weisman

National Hockey League Hall of Famer Mark Messier is recognized as one of the greatest leaders in the history of professional team sports. This reputation is backed by the fact Messier is the only player to captain two separate teams to the Stanley Cup Championship.

So, when Messier talks leadership, people should pay attention.

After winning his sixth Stanley Cup in 1994, and the first for his New York Rangers in 54 years, Messier was quoted in a Sports Illustrated article on how he gets the most out of the players as a team captain:

“To lead effectively, you have to have the trust of those on your team, and to do that you have to find a way to connect with them, to find common ground with every individual. It’s a people issue, not a sports (or business/job) issue. The way to find that common thread is compassion.”

Messier’s quote describes the highest level of leadership communication, what I call Level 3 Leadership Communication.

As Messier’s quote reveals, Level 3 Leadership Communication is about connecting with the individuals on a team so that the leader understands what uniquely motivates each.

One of the roadblocks to a leader embracing and engaging in Level 3 Leadership Communication comes from one of the earliest lessons children learn in life, something called the “Golden Rule.”

To recount that lesson from early childhood, the “Golden Rule” states, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

On the surface it seems like a great approach.

The challenge is that statement comes with a pre-supposition that every person a leader leads will have the same interests, desires and motivations. And those interests, desires, and motivates will remain constant throughout the term the individual is working with you.

These assumptions regularly cause misunderstandings between leaders and their respective team members, which causes the erosion of motivation, morale and trust.

An approach that champion leaders like Messier apply is called “the Champion Leaders’ Rule,” which states, “Do unto others as they want to be done unto.”

This approach takes a concerted effort to invest time and energy in getting to know the personal aspirations and motivations of the individuals on the team, as Messier noted. But as Messier’s six Stanley Cup Championships attest, the return on that investment can be tremendous.

There is a strong caveat to applying Leadership Communication Level 3, however, because a leader that has not invested time and energy in building the foundation in Leadership Communication Level 1 (self-awareness and self-communication) will do more to de-motivate team members and will sabotage the trust and commitment necessary to generate high-performance from individual team members.

To prove my point above, think about how many 1:1 ‘performance review’ discussions fail to generate the positive feelings and the performance improvements discussed in the session with a team member. This is often the case even when a leader gets “agreement” from the team member regarding the improvements that need to be developed.

Too many performance review discussions end up creating animosity, distrust and confusion instead of the intended outcome of higher performance.

When a leader invests in themselves in Leadership Communication Level 1 to:

• become self-aware of how they want and need to show up as a leader, and
• how they need to project themselves when they are in front of their team members (Leadership Communication Level 2), plus
• develop their personal internal and external communication, either individually or collectively,

the results received from the team will grow exponentially, and it will happen with you spending significantly less time trying to motivate the team as a unit because the team members will take ownership and responsibility of the effort.

About The Author
Skip Weisman is The Leadership & Workplace Communication Expert. He’s the author of the white paper report titled, “The 7 Deadliest Sins of Leadership & Workplace Communication: How Leaders and Their Employees Unknowingly Undermine Morale, Motivation and Trust in Work Environments.” The white paper is available as a free download for a limited time at www.HowToImproveLeadershipCommunication.com. If you’d like to learn how you can improve your work environment by improving communication contact him directly with any questions, or for a complimentary Strategy Session at 845-463-3838 or e-mail to Skip@WeismanSuccessResources.com.

Article Contributed by Jeff Beals

If you ask any historian to name the greatest leaders in western civilization, there’s a good chance the 16th president of the United States will make the list. He willed his country to victory in the gut-wrenching Civil War, issued the Emancipation Proclamation and facilitated the eventual ratification of the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery.

A number of traits contributed to Abraham Lincoln’s greatness. He possessed a brilliant intellect. He had an uncommon amount of common sense. He was a thinker, someone who philosophically examined the world and crafted a rationalized set of personal beliefs by which he steadfastly lived.

While he was blessed with many talents, Lincoln’s greatest attribute may have been his ability to communicate. He was a skilled orator who eloquently wrote many of his own speeches. He listened sincerely when others spoke. He empathized. He mastered the art of interpersonal communications several decades before the term “interpersonal communications” was coined.

It wouldn’t be a stretch to credit Lincoln as one of history’s greatest communicators. But of all the communications techniques he so successfully employed, there was one where he especially shone.

Abraham Lincoln was a remarkable storyteller.

Lincoln succeeded under some of the most difficult leadership conditions any U.S. president has had to face. To communicate is such times, he often resorted to stories. Instead of berating the incompetent generals who blundered in the Civil War’s early battles, Lincoln educated and motivated them by using stories. To smooth over ruffled political feathers with members of Congress, Lincoln would pull out a story and use it to establish common ground.

Among history’s eminent leaders, however, Lincoln was not unique in his reliance upon stories. Political leaders throughout the ages have moved the masses by using stories to communicate their political platforms. In modern days, big-time CEOs use storytelling to mobilize international staffs in the quest for billions of dollars of profit. Jesus Christ himself used parables and story-based lessons to enlighten his disciples.

Indeed, stories pack a punch. They’re powerful. They paint pictures. They work, because our human brains are conditioned to listen to and be receptive to stories. Long before the written word, and long before Gutenberg invented the printing press, people used stories to communicate histories and traditions as well as norms and expectations. In other words, our ancestors sat around the fire every night and told stories. The propensity to tell and listen to stories is essentially a part of our DNA.

So, if people are so receptive to storytelling, you and I would be foolish not to use stories in our work. Good storytellers tend to be effective leaders and successful salespersons. If you manage people, teach them and motivate them by conveying important information through stories. If you sell products and services, use a story to paint a picture in your prospect’s mind. By making the product or service part of a story, prospective clients mentally project themselves into the story. Once someone makes that kind of psychological commitment, they’re much more likely to buy.

Let’s say we asked the same prospective client to sit through two sales presentations for competing products. Both salespersons touched on features and benefits. Salesperson One was very straightforward and focused on delivering factual content. Salesperson Two was accurate but explained the features and benefits using stories. A couple of the stories were about previous clients who enjoyed positive results from using the product. I guarantee the second salesperson has a higher likelihood of landing the client.

One of the most important skills in sales is the ability to overcome objections. Well, if you get an objection, tell a story to keep the deal alive. Are you ready to deliver your close? Make it more desirable by couching it inside a story. Has the process become mired? Advance it by telling a story.

Whether you are managing a staff, selling a service, delivering a speech, trying to persuade voters to elect you or attempting to resolve a conflict between two of your colleagues, make it easier by spinning a yarn. Stories reassure people and disarm them.

As you make a commitment to including more stories in your daily work, keep a couple things in mind:

1. Stories must be relative to the situation at hand.

2. Know when to shut up. If a story goes on too long, it loses its effectiveness

3. Think about the work you do and determine what kinds of stories could be effective in certain situations.

4. Catalog stories in your mind. Look back on your own experiences as well as the experiences of your colleagues. Make a list of stories to have at your disposal, so you can use them whenever it’s expedient.

Every product, service, business and person has a story, probably multiple stories. The trick is to pull out these stories and use them to your benefit at the appropriate times. After all, if President Lincoln used stories to save a country, we would be wise to use them to save our businesses and careers.

About the Author:

Jeff Beals is an award-winning author, who helps professionals do more business and have a greater impact on the world through effective sales, marketing and personal branding techniques. As a professional speaker, he delivers energetic and humorous keynote speeches and workshops to audiences worldwide. You can learn more and follow his “Business Motivation Blog” at JeffBeals.com.

Article by Skip Weisman

Many different reasons exist why certain actions taken within an organization can kill trust, quite apart from the regular dishonest activities that mislead staff, hidden agendas, office politics, career rivalry, illegal practices, ignorance, etc.

One of the biggest trust-killers is so basic it is easy to overlook. It is and has always been in the realm of communication. And one of the most destructive communication sins when it comes to trust is what I call ‘indirect communication.’

Most of us have both experienced ‘indirect communication’ and/or have practiced it at one time in our lives. In organization speak, indirect communication is known by other names, like ‘back stabbing,’ ‘throwing people under the bus’ (my all-time favorite), ‘going behind one’s back,’ or ‘going over someone’s head.’ That’s one form of ‘indirect communication’ most often engaged in by co-workers trying to gain a competitive advantage with a boss by dragging someone else down. Sometimes there is a valid reason behind it, for example, your immediate supervisor is a bully and you are the victim, but other times it comes about because of inexperienced and poor judgment, impatience, stupidity, vengeance, or just plain meanness. In these latter instances, the ‘indirect communicator’ can cause a lot of damage to others’ careers as well as to his or her own career, not to mention the reputation of the company; not something they tend to think a great deal about at the time.

Another form of indirect communication is when a supervisor, leader, manager (call them what you will) attempts to address behavior issues with a blanket memo or staff meeting when the issue is only with one person, not everybody else. Instead of dealing one-on-one with that individual, the supervisor calls everyone together to go over the ‘policy and procedures’ manual thinking that reminding the whole team of the guidelines will solve the issue and save them the awkwardness of having to confront the individual.

What usually happens is that everyone in the room knows who the perpetrator is and becomes more resentful of that person for pulling everyone into it, wasting their time and often making them feel foolish, and they lose trust in their leader who has exposed his weakness because the issue is not being dealt with one-on-one as it should have been and he has taken the coward’s way out.

The real work environment killer is that the individual perpetrator doesn’t ‘get it.’ They sit in the meeting with everyone else, wondering who it is their leader is talking about, totally ignorant to the fact that it is about them! They don’t see themselves or their behavior as a problem and the directive goes right over their head, and so they keep doing it.

This happens more often than you may think and it is a trust and work environment killer. I know because I have experienced it first hand many times, and in the early days of my career was even guilty of it myself once.

How about your company? How is indirect communication negatively impacting your organization or don’t you believe you have that problem? You may be surprised.

Being informed is halfway to solving the problem, which is why I am giving all readers a copy of this special report “The 7 Deadliest Sins of Leadership & Workplace Communication” downloadable from: http://www.HowToImproveLeadershipCommunication.com.

About the author:

Skip Weisman is The Leadership & Workplace Communication Expert. He’s the author of the white paper report titled, “The 7 Deadliest Sins of Leadership & Workplace Communication: How Leaders and Their Employees Unknowingly Undermine Morale, Motivation and Trust in Work Environments.” The white paper is available as a free download for a limited time at www.HowToImproveLeadershipCommunication.com . If you’d like to learn how you can improve your work environment by improving communication contact him directly with any questions, or for a complimentary Strategy Session at 845-463-3838 or e-mail to Skip@WeismanSuccessResources.com