Entrepreneur: “Why can’t we all just get along?”
Rodney King’s 1991 plea has become part of our nation’s vernacular. While the dialogue on diversity has led to passionate conversations about what it means to be civil, we still struggle with the essence of the question: Why can’t we all just get along?
At the core of “getting along” are rules, obligations and norms that, when shared, provide the foundation for strong, stable relationships and flourishing communities. Through such conventions of civility, we learn about what polite behavior and manners mean to the community. Some might say these rules provide a sense of order; others would suggest that civility fosters feelings of well-being and positive relationships.
So, what can we do to foster workplaces that are more civil and respectful? First, we can have conversations about what being civil means for different people. This would provide some sense of shared norms, with the ultimate goal of creating respectful, valued relationships, strengthening communication, and fostering interpersonal and team collaboration. Some simple actions that we can all take include:
– noticing your point of view, particularly when you’re holding tight to it, and making a point to seek out and truly listen to perspectives different than yours;
– being curious about and interested in others;
– choosing to speak with someone face-to-face if you think there may be room for miscommunication via e-mail or over the phone; and
– speaking up when others are excluded.
Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect and consideration into this awareness. Civility is attending to the community at large in our everyday interactions. The goal is moving beyond politeness, tiptoeing around conversations so as not to offend, or saying what you think you’re supposed to say, to more authentic sharing.
The Unwritten Rules of Civility [Entrepreneur]
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