Categories
Communication Skills

How to Confront Without Conflict

Article Contributed by Roberta Chinsky Matuson

Most people are reluctant to address problems they are having with an employee, co-worker or even their boss. Yet, pretending everything is fine certainly won’t improve the situation. Here is just one example of why this isn’t in the best interest of the employee or yourself.

Just today, I spoke with a client who was describing an employee who wasn’t quite working out like he had hoped. He shared with me how this employee was refusing to take on projects that were well within the scope of her job description and how unpleasant she was making life for everyone. Yet, instead of confronting this employee, he is going to wait for her to find another position within the company so he can be rid of her.

I suggested a different approach. Why not simply tell this employee that she has gone as far as she is going to go in his workgroup and that it is time for her to move on? This is certainly in her best interest as well as his, and more than likely will take less time than waiting for her to bid adieu. He thought my idea was brilliant!

Whenever we think about conflict, we tend to think of it in a negative connotation. Yet conflict can be good. Here’s why. Conflict fuels innovation. It helps take good ideas and make them great. Here is an example of what I mean by this. Have you ever noticed that the best ideas seem to come from other ideas? Think about what would happen if everyone went along with whatever was suggested and stopped there? Do you think such innovative products like smart phones would exist if no one in the room challenged the idea that a phone could be used for more than just making and receiving calls? You can close your eyes and imagine the sparks flying in the room as each participant defended his position.

I got to experience this first hand in the early days of mobile phones when I worked closely with an executive at NYNEX, which is now owned by Verizon. I could see this executive’s counterparts didn’t quite know what to make of her. She was bold and forward thinking, uncommon in companies like that back in the early nineties. She had a way of confronting the naysayers, and turning them into her advocates. I noticed that when she was in situations that appeared to be contentious, she would win the other people over by telling them what was in it for them. Worked like a charm.

The executive that I spoke with today could have learned a lot from this woman. He knows his problem employee is very interested in being promoted. He also knows this certainly isn’t going to happen on his dime. He needs to be honest with her and let her know that she has gone as far as she is going to go within his workgroup. Most likely this conversation will not come as a shock to this employee. In fact, more than likely she will be relieved, as deep down inside she knows this as well.

This is a conversation that may feel uncomfortable to him, but in the end if he plays his cards right, she’ll walk out the door thanking him for giving her permission to seek a workplace where she will be an asset. And he will be a much stronger manager as a result of this experience. Now that’s what I call a win-win situation.

About the Author:

Roberta Chinsky Matuson is the President of Human Resource Solutions (www.yourhrexperts.com)  and author of the highly acclaimed book, Suddenly in Charge: Managing Up, Managing Down, Succeeding All Around (Nicholas Brealey, January 2011). Her firm helps organizations create exceptional workplaces that deliver extraordinary results. Sign up to receive a complimentary subscription to Roberta’s monthly newsletter, HR Matters.

Categories
Starting Up

Set Your Business Up for Success: How Getting Help will Keep You on Track for the Future

Article Contributed by Lisa Cherney

One of the best things you can do for yourself to grow your business and propel yourself forward is to get help. But so many of us keep justifying that we can’t afford help. We say things such as: “I’ll hire an assistant when I start making more money.” Or “I can’t hire an assistant until I start making more money.”

I can relate to this personally because back in November of 2008 I had $1200 to my name. One of the things I did that led me to a quarter million dollar income at the end of 2009 was to hire some help. I realized I couldn’t do it all on my own. Now, I’m not talking about a full-time personal assistant here – though that would have been wonderful. I started small.

I really needed to get my e-zine out, so I invested in 10 hours of help from a Virtual Assistant team. As soon as I had that team in place, I started to look at my business in a completely different way. I found that there were all these other things that I could delegate. And, more importantly, I was also ready when the big opportunities came my way, because I wasn’t doing it all alone!

Here’s what one of my top clients, Christine Lewicki, founder of O Coaching, had to say about investing in herself, making some huge leaps of faith and getting the help she needed.

“There’s my business before I met Lisa and my business after I met Lisa. Before, I was spinning my wheels. I knew I was a good coach, but word of mouth wasn’t happening and I didn’t have enough clients,” Christine says. “I felt that if I didn’t grow my business I wouldn’t be making the difference I want to make. I wasted a lot of years trying to figure it out on my own. Then I went to a convention and met Lisa and thought, “Here she is – this is exactly what I need.'”

Christine continues, “Lisa gave me the opportunity to work with her and I knew it was time for me to get some help. So I signed up and I barely had enough for the first payment, but it was pretty exciting and super scary. Literally in the next 10 days I got two new clients to fund my investment! The work with Lisa was a mix of spiritual work and technical business strategy to get me to my own juice. And that juice is very sweet for my marketing and awesome for me because deep in my bones I know what I’m all about and what I have to give.”

So as I move into 2011, I celebrate doubling my income again last year. Yes, over half million in 2010. And I can tell you without a doubt that having my team, now five people strong, was critical to my success. Especially because I did it working only 3-4 days a week! (Not possible without investing in a team.)

You know how they say you should dress for the job you want? Well, you need to set up your business the way you want to see it in the future. And if you want to break six figures, you can’t do it without having a team. There is a lot of power in asking for help. I know it sometimes feels risky to get help, but you need to do it so your business can expand and you can focus on your genius and creativity. You should be delegating the day-to-day, mundane tasks so you can focus on bigger, better – more juicy – things!

About the Author:

Lisa Cherney, a.k.a. the Juicy Marketing Expert, founded Conscious Marketing 12 years ago to help small business owners find their authentic marketing voice, attract their ideal clients and increase their sales. Following her own Stand Out & Be Juicy program, which centers on owning your unique self and laser-focus marketing, Lisa has tripled her income while working part-time.

Prior to Conscious Marketing, Lisa worked with many Fortune 500 companies, including AT&T, Lipton, Nissan, Blue Cross and Equal. She is a highly sought after speaker and often shares the stage with experts such as Jack Assaraf (The Secret), Jack Canfield and Jill Lublin. Learn more about Lisa at www.consciousmarketing.com or call 887-771-0156.

Categories
How-To Guides

Success Tips for Women Executives and Entrepreneurs – How a Lack of Body Confidence is Holding You Back

Article Contributed by Melonie Dodaro

Just think about it… If you are concerned about how you look, you’ll always have a handicap.  Whether you’re networking, negotiating a deal, or making a presentation on stage, your lack of confidence puts you at a disadvantage.

1) You avoid the spotlight

Chances are that you’re also afraid of the spotlight that could come with success. How would you really feel about being on TV?  Everybody looks heavier on TV, they say, and if you’re already self-conscious about your weight, you may try to avoid any opportunity involving a camera, at least subconsciously.  Can you see how that can hold you back?

2) You lack the crucial ingredient you need to attract others

There’s more.  As long as you’re being plagued by that niggling fear that you’re looking less than your best, you will lack that air of confidence that is so attractive to others.  And it gets even worse — you have reason to be concerned.

3) People judge others by how they look

It’s a fact of life that people really do judge us by the way we look.  The more attractive we are, the more strongly people are drawn to us.  Studies have shown that people who are more attractive get promoted more quickly and make more money. You can insist on political correctness all you want, but it isn’t going to give you that raise.  And it’s certainly not going to bring you more clients and customers.

Of course I agree that it’s not fair to be judged by the shape of your body, but belaboring that fact is not going to give you the results you desire.  If you want to achieve success and abundance, there’s really just one question that’s helpful: “What are you going to do about it so you can achieve the benefits below?”

The Benefits of Taking Action

1) More confidence

I know how you feel – because I used to be more than 30 pounds overweight. Before I finally claimed the fit and healthy body I truly wanted, I was down and depressed. Now, I love meeting people and I even love being on stage and in front of the camera. There are no longer any worries about how I look. Instead, I’m free to focus on the reason I’m there.

2) More physical energy

You see, most people spend up to 70% of their energy just digesting their food.  That doesn’t leave too much for doing the kind of things that will boost your success.  So if you can reduce that percentage to 50% by making your metabolism more effective, you’ll practically double the energy you have available.  Imagine the competitive edge all that new energy could give you.

3) More emotional energy

And you’ll gain more energy in other ways as well…  How long does it take you to find clothes that make you look good — or at least as good as possible?  Finding clothes that flatter a less than fit body can be a true project.  Not only does it require extra time to go through your closet or a store’s offerings to find something that camouflages those “bad” parts, but it also takes a lot of energy.  How so, you may wonder…

Most people really beat themselves up in dressing rooms.  Looking at the unvarnished truth in full-length mirror can be challenging indeed.  But do you know how much emotional energy all that self-criticism can take?  And chances are, you’re also doing the same thing every morning when you decide what to wear for the day.

4) Success and abundance

You will begin to thrive in all areas of your life once being self-conscious about your body no longer holds you back.

Now, if you are ready to thrive, I’d like to invite you to claim your free Consumer’s Awareness Guide and MindBody FX Book Preview which will give you the support to finally claim your fit and healthy body, double your energy, and boost your confidence so you can achieve true abundance.

About the Author

Melonie Dodaro is an author, coach, and founder of MindBody FX that specializes in changing the way women executives and entrepreneurs think so they can achieve permanent weight loss. Learn how to harness the power of your mind to experience the weight loss results you desire. Claim your FREE MindBody FX Lifestyle Book Preview and Consumer Awareness Guide at http://www.WeightLossConsumersGuide.com.

Categories
Planning & Management

Top 10 Tips For Managing Up in a Top Down World

Article Contributed by Roberta Chinsky Matuson

It may seem unnatural to manage up in the top down world of business but this is exactly what you must do to be successful in business. Here are 10 tips for managing those relationships above you.

1. Decode your boss’s management style-I’ve yet to see a situation where a boss molds his style to that of his employees. You can be certain you will be the one doing the adjusting. Begin by observing how your manager uses authority, the way he relates to others, and his communication style as a leader. Most bosses typically fall into one of the following categories: Dictatorial, Laissez-faire, Bureaucratic, or Consultative. Once you determine the type of manager you’ve been handed, you can then study ways to work most effectively with this type of leader.

2. Prepare to play the game of politics-Politics is played in every organization; so the sooner you learn how to play this game, the better off you’ll be. Politics is the informal way that things get done in an organization. Pay close attention to how work really gets done in the organization. People who master this game follow unwritten rules that allow them to maneuver swiftly through the organization to obtain scarce resources, approval of prized projects and promotions. Can you see now why it’s important to master this game?

3. Shine the light on others-Compliment staff in front of others, and whenever possible, shine the light on those around you. The light from their reflection will make you shine brightly.

4. Presume good intent-It’s easy to jump to conclusions when you are asked to do something that at first doesn’t feel right. Presume good intent. Provide your boss with options on how to achieve the same results in a way that feels right.

5. Master the art of influencing-Influencing is communicating effectively with a goal in mind. Be specific in your request while highlighting why it’s in your boss’ best interest to comply with your request, and you will be on your way to mastering the art of influence.

6. Toot your own horn-For years we’ve been taught that it’s not polite to brag. But if we don’t, how will others know about our contributions? When companies put together lay-off lists, they exclude those whose contributions are well known throughout the organization. You may be the best singer in the room, but no one will know this if you never open your mouth.

7. Manage your own performance-Bosses are busy people and most would rather walk on hot coals than write a performance review. Prepare your own review, which should include ways you’ve added value to the organization as well as areas needing further development. Present this to your boss a week prior to your review, and don’t be surprised if what you get back closely resembles what you’ve submitted.

8. Continually maintain-Like any connection worth having, you will need to apply care and attention in order for the relationship to flourish. Continual maintenance is the key to sustaining relationships for years to come.

9. Hire a mentor or a coach
-Every star player uses a mentor or a coach to help them improve their game. Find someone who is willing to hold up the mirror for you so that you can clearly see what your boss is seeing. Then adjust your style accordingly.

10. Attach your star carefully-You never want to be so closely associated with your boss that you find yourself on the outskirts the moment she is no longer in favor. Be your own person so others know you are more than someone’s sidekick.

About the Author:

Roberta Chinsky Matuson is the President of Human Resource Solutions (www.yourhrexperts.com)  and author of the highly acclaimed book, Suddenly in Charge: Managing Up, Managing Down, Succeeding All Around (Nicholas Brealey, January 2011). Her firm helps organizations create exceptional workplaces that deliver extraordinary results. Sign up to receive a complimentary subscription to Roberta’s monthly newsletter, HR Matters.

Categories
Work Life

3 Easy Ways to Shape-up Your Relationship This New Year

Article Contributed by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin

Did you make a New Year’s Resolution? If you did, have you stuck with it? Or has it already gone by the wayside? If you didn’t, is this because you don’t believe in them? Or did you just forget to make one? If you haven’t made one or it’s been neglected, there’s no reason why you can’t make a new resolution dedicated to your relationship.

Let’s make 2011 the best year ever for your relationship. Here are three great ways to get your relationship in shape:

1. Prioritize your relationship.
The most important thing you must do is NOT take your loved ones for granted. Human nature being what it is, we tend to take the things we have and the ones we love for granted. This is the kiss of death for your relationship.

So prioritize your relationship in 2011! It sounds so simple and easy to do, and it is, if you do it! Have you noticed how life has a way of getting in the way of your relationship? We are all guilty of this. Our job, the bills, the kids, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, even our favorite TV show finds a way of creeping up on us and taking away all our “free” time, including the time we have to spend with our partner. Try really hard not to allow this to happen to your relationship.

Life seems to have taken on such a hectic pace. Slow it down – it’s easy if you try and spend quality time with the one you love. If you have to schedule time together, do it. Do whatever it takes to make your relationship your #1 priority in 2011.

2. Bring back the romance
Bring back the romance your relationship was built on. Remember how you used to flirt with each other with your eyes? Bring that back and rekindle the romance. Send little love notes to each other throughout the week. With modern technology there are a million ways to do this, such as email, IMing, text messaging, bbm, etc. Or bring home a rose to your partner for no reason at all! Bringing back the romance in your relationship is a sure fire way to heat things up in 2011!

3. Speak politely to your partner; say “please” and “thank-you”
Everything you need to know about manners you learned in kindergarten. As I mentioned earlier, we tend to take our loved ones for granted and this includes forgetting our manners when we speak with them. Civility goes a long way to enhance the quality of your relationship. Try it – your partner will like it. Trust me.

Resolve to focus on your relationship this year and don’t take your partner for granted. If you follow these three easy, simple, and effective tips you’ll be on your way to making 2011 the best year ever in your relationship.

About the Author:

During the past 25 years, renowned relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin has helped hundreds of people rekindle romance and reignite passion in their relationships. The solutions in her Relationship Toolbox™ help couples re-build romance so intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can flourish. Through her successful 25-year marriage and her experience of raising 4 children, Dr. Patty Ann has earned an international reputation for saving relationships. To reignite your flames of passion, visit her site at www.drpattyann.com.