Month: August 2008

Categories
People & Relationships

10 Qualities That Foster Trust & Safety In Relationships

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I’m incredibly blessed to have developed wonderful business relationships and friendships. I can’t imagine who I would be or what my life would be like without them when I need business advice, feedback, to vent, a hug, a cheer, or a kick in the pants.

I’m a believer that the outside world is a reflection of the person we become on the inside. On days, when I am not at my best and feeling a bit low, I think of the people in my life who like hanging out with me in business or in my personal life. I realize if the people I enjoy, love, admire, and respect as high quality people want to be with me, well, what does that say about me, huh? My mood begins to lift and my thoughts shift. It’s a great reality check!

It takes time to develop trust and safety with folks.

The 10 qualities below are personal values I bring to my relationships and ones I look for in others.

1. Authenticity. Being real and genuine (as much as possible). Willingness to be vulnerable and let go of the need “to look good” in all situations invites opportunities to make a heart connection. In truth, we’re not always are our best and being human invites others to be real and genuine. When I’m in conversation with someone who is only sharing from their head, I have no sense of who they are because I can’t feel them anywhere!

2. Listening and communications skills. Who doesn’t want to feel heard and understood?Having the ability to express thoughts and feelings creates connection. Becoming a great listener and communicator is an art; one that can be developed without having to be perfect. Refer to a prior post I wrote on The Art of Listening.

3. Forgiveness. Making it ok to be human. I have put my foot in my mouth on many occasions and been forgiven. We all screw up sometimes and knowing that our human choices (yup I said choices) and mistakes will not cost us love and acceptance is a huge builder of trust and safety.

4. Unconditional love/acceptance. That’s what our children and animals teach us! Being loved and accepted for who we are is a normal and human desire we all want. Our individual viewpoints, experiences, passions… add richness and flavor to relationships (and the world). When we can offer unconditional love and acceptance to others we share a great gift that can be nurtured and passed on. That is how we serve others to heal and grow. Love is our natural state! Being forgiven has taught me how to forgive others; to look beyond the action or comment and see who that person is – someone just like me who wants to be loved and accepted.

5. 100% responsibility. Letting go of the blame game and fully owning thoughts, words, and actions. This is about being in personal integrity in how we show up and making amends when appropriate. Folks in my circle know that if it’s my stuff, I’ll own it and clean up anything I’ve created to the best of my ability. Red flags go up for me when I see folks play the blame game and pass the buck.

6. Not taking everything personally. This is an advanced skill to be able to hear and experience people from a charge neutral space with compassionate detachment. As a coach, therapist, and counselor, being able to step back without personalizing is a skill I’ve honed over the years. Having a strong self-image and sense of self are critical elements in being able to de-personalize. Being hungry, angry, lonely or tired can make it harder to stay in a loving space with people without reacting. Keeping self-care a priority is important!

7. Aligned values. Spiritual growth, personal transformation, communication, integrity are some of my core values. The people closest to me all share a common value of personal growth/life-long learning. Being with people who share personal, business, life values can feel like connecting with kindred spirits!

8. Compassion/empathy. Loving appreciation and understanding without judgment or criticism. Being thoughtful and caring invites the love of our soul to emerge. Ties right back to #4.

9. Supportive. People feel supported in different ways. Communicating what we need to be supported is the way we teach people how to show up for us. Building a strong community of people who nurture, energize, and lift us (whether we need a boost or not!) invites us to be authentic.

10. Managing conflict. This is a biggy for many folks. When people show up to work through the conflict by taking responsibility for their part, de-personalizing, being honest, making amends if necessary…. many of the points I’ve written about already, real trust and safety flourishes. We want to know that when things get tough and uncomfortable, folks will stick around and not leave us! Read my post – A Model for Conflict Resolution.

What would you add on your list?

When you’re having one of those days when you’re not feeling great, look at the people in your life who hang out with you because they love you, respect you, and appreciate you. You might find remembering helps to broaden and lift your outlook!

Categories
Sales & Marketing

Selling Pain, No Pain No Gain

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Small Business Branding: There are aspects of our business life that are challenges. When I blog or when I design or consult, I often come across challenges that only research can address. I am currently investigating podcasts. I want the production to be more than me in front of a microphone discussing branding tips. What about production values? Background music? The intro? All of these concerns are what is known as pain points. In the course of accomplishing something, these are the little irritants along the journey.
When you develop your marketing materials, recognizing your target audience’s pain points and exploiting them, will resonate with that audience. Don’t bore them with simply a list of what you do and how well you do it, but answer the age old question from the mouth of your consumer: “What’s in it for me?” or “How can I profit from dealing with you?”
Let’s say that you’re a bright young management consultant. Your target audience’s pain points might be:
• Industry compliances
• Retaining quality employees
• Training sale staff
• Keeping a tight reign on payroll
• Cross-border issues
…just to name a few.
If you want to get their attention, address what you know to be the biggest pain point of them all. Use the pain point that feels as though you’re hitting their sore tooth with a small metal hammer. Their pain is your gain.

To go back to my pain, (podcasting) – whenever I came across information that addressed one of my pain points, it resonated with me and I investigated that service further. I ignored all others who tried to sell their services with brag notes or fancy slogans, I don’t have the time to figure them out. You might even use your own target’s pain points as the basis of your brand differentiator.
Look at pain point solutions that exist all around you: If you perspire, you use Ban roll-on – if your feet hurt, you use a Dr. Scholl gel insole – if your mortgage is to complicated, ING has the unmortgage. The wonderful thing is, your customer wants you to address their pain points. We all want relief.
In many ways if you don’t use pain points to sell, many customers probably wonder why you exist. Understand their pain and sell them the relief.
They’ll love you for it.

How To Sell The Pain [Small Business Branding]

Categories
Success Attitude

Just Think Of What You Want To Do

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Business Advice Pro: Do you remember the last time when you really needed to do something, but you just couldn’t because you were constantly thinking of something else? Remember? I do. There are ways to fix that. And no, I’m not going to talk about the waves in the air or about some other mambo-jambo. And I’m not even going to use the word autosuggestion (The term autosuggestion is used for positive or negative physical symptoms explained by the thoughts and beliefs of a person.), even though it is part of the game. I’ll try to do it in a bit more humane & practical manner.
Theory: In order to do something, you need to get rid of all the unnecessary thoughts. Why? That’s because otherwise you can’t really commit to that one other thing.
Example: Imagine you *need* to write ten blog posts today, but have hard time doing it because the only thing you are thinking of is the money transfer that you should be getting any day now. You think of the money, you think of what you are going to do with it, etc. Now try to stick to writing your blog posts, it’s not an easy task. I know some of you won’t understand what I’m talking about here, yet some of you will understand it too well.
Problem: If you were asked NOT to think about an elephant, what are you going to think about? About the elephant of course! That’s the problem here –trying not to think about something usually results in more thinking about the not-to-think-about thing.
Solution: Yes, you could consider autosuggestion or self-hypnosis here, to make something with your subconscious mind. Well, yes, you could. But why do people ALWAYS want to complicate things? Instead of think about the wrong thing, make a decision, a reasoned decision why you should not think about it anymore. And start thinking of reasons why you should be working or why you want to work with the thing you actually need to get done. It is easy.
• DO NOT think that you should not be thinking about the thing you are thinking about
• DO think about WHY you shouldn’t be thinking about it
• DO think about WHAT you actually need to concentrate on and WHY
• And soon you’ll see the right thing is the only thing your are thinking about
Learn to take control of your mind [Business Advice Pro]

Categories
Entrepreneurs

10 Tips for Business Success from a Woman Entrepreneur Who Makes $1M Selling Photo Guest Books

This article is contributed by Lesley Mattos of Adesso Albums, Inc
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Why would a woman making a six-figure salary in Silicon Valley choose to
leave her high profile position with Cisco to create a product that used no
21st Century technology?
Because almost thirty years of working with Silicon Valley’s top technology
companies can take a toll on a gal’s ability to stop and see, much less
smell the roses! During a trip to Italy, far away from friends and family
and immersed in a culture that lives in the moment, I realized what I’d lost
sight of.
And that’s where the idea for Adesso Albums was born. Six years later,
Adesso Albums is an international company with more than a million dollars
in annual revenue.
So how did I do it?
10 tips for Success in Business – Based on My Personal Experience:
1. Embrace change. It’s an inevitable part of running a business. Rather
than fighting it, wasting valuable time and eventually losing, you’re better
off anticipating, planning for, and embracing change. As a small business
owner you should be nimble and react quickly in a variety of ways. If you
look at change as an opportunity to grow, you will!
2. Use technology. Do more with less by automating routine processes with
web-based applications. These applications increase productivity and free
you, your staff and your resources to focus on more important tasks. And,
these applications can be accessed from anywhere
3. Keep your eye on the ball. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day
minutia of running a business. Constantly ask yourself if your daily
activities get you closer to your overall goals for the company. It will
keep you on track and stop you from spending time on the wrong things.
4. Know your differentiators. Compare your products and services to the
real, as well as the perceived competition. A competing concept can be even
more threatening than an actual product. Unless you have thought about what
differentiates your product or service from everything that’s out there,
your marketing efforts will fall short.
5. Lead by example. Peers and subordinates alike will learn from your
example. They “listen” with their eyes more than with their ears. Your
actions mean more than what you say to them. Make sure your processes and
actions both inside and outside the office are things you want emulated.
6. Give the illusion of participation. Everyone likes to feel like they are
part of the decision process, so let them! Then do what you think you ought
to do anyway. It’s not necessary, and often actually a hindrance in a small
business environment to employ the decision by a committee process.
7. Control timing. We often miss opportunities because we think we have to
respond immediately to stimuli such as phone calls or emails. Just because
the phone is ringing or an email comes in, it doesn’t mean you have to
react. Your day shouldn’t be a series of interruptions. The more you
control your distractions, the more effective you’ll be.
8. Know what you don’t know. It’s inconceivable that you could have an in
depth knowledge of every aspect of your business. Acknowledge your weak
areas and surround yourself with competent resources and trusted partners
and learn from them.
9. Stay organized. It is critical to update, edit, add and delete from your
list of to-do’s on a daily basis. Nothing feels better than crossing things
off. And, with a well-maintained list for you and your team, everyone will
stay on track and your chances for success are enhanced.
10. Plan for success. Formalize your processes as you go. Plan for and
build infrastructure ahead of your growth. So when your growth spurt comes,
you’re ready for it. And don’t forget to celebrate your successes along the
way. Stop and pat yourself and your team on the back as milestones are
achieved.
Following these ten tips not only helped me grow Adesso Albums to over a
million dollars in annual revenue last year, it also helped me reach tens of
thousands of people and help them live in the moment. Everyday we get
cards, letters, emails, pictures and even videos from our customers telling
us how Adesso Albums have touched their lives – and in so many ways –
both personally and from a business perspective.
From the couple who just got married and looked at their original instant
photo guest book every day of their honeymoon to the military family who
used an album to chronicle what happened while the dad was on tour for a
year, to our international distributors who each used the albums at their
weddings and have since quit their day jobs to sell Adesso Albums in their
part of the world – its’ all very humbling.
With a good idea, a little luck and my ten tips, you are well on your way to
success too!
About the Author:
Lesley Mattos is Owner of Adesso Albums, Inc. and creator of the original
instant photo guest book that combines retro, funky and fun Polaroid instant
photos with hand written sentiments from guests. Now you can create an
instant memento that is presented to honorees at events such as weddings,
birthdays, anniversary or retirement parties as they are leaving! Visit
http://www.adessoalbums.com

Categories
Success Attitude

The Incredible Power of Beliefs

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Why are some people able to achieve so much more out of their lives than others? Why are some people able to produce outstanding, extraordinary results, exceeding what is commonly expected?

Is it because they have a lot more talent or capability? Do they have superior resources that other people lack?

Did the Wright brothers, inventors of the airplane, possess more aerodynamic and engineering expertise than the sum of all the engineers and inventors of their time?

Did Mahatma Gandhi come from a powerful family that enabled him to establish a power base to liberate India from the British?
Was Ho Chi Min a mighty general who trained the Viet Cong to first drive out the French and then the Americans?

These men did not possess any measurable resources to achieve their accomplishments…and history is peppered with many examples of such outstanding individuals.

What set these men apart were the incredible beliefs they had about the moral rightness of their cause. That gave them extraordinary strength to fight on against all odds, winning eventually.

Beliefs are like Operating Systems

Our beliefs can be described as the operating system to our brain. They determine our expectations, producing the proportionate results.

If you believe that you can become a Millionaire, CEO or President, this is what you will expect from yourself.

If you believe you do not have the capability to earn more than $40,000 a year, this is also what you will expect from yourself. If you believe that you can lead others, you will expect to attain nothing less than a management position.

If you believe that you are nothing more than a follower, you will not expect anything more than being just a front line employee.

If you have an empowering belief that you can build a highly successful business, this belief will drive you to take massive action.

You will develop a business plan, attract investors and launch your marketing campaign.

You will start innovating new product lines, probably investing in Research and Development to create entirely new products or processes

Sure you will have lots of obstacles along the way, but your beliefs will drive you to turn any failure into feedback changing your strategy until you get the result you want.

Even if you don’t achieve the exact targets you set for yourself, you are going to produce some great results.

Beliefs are the driving force behind the actions we take, determining how much personal potential we are able to tap within.

When we believe that something is possible, we will go all out to make it happen. We will take massive action and commit ourselves to keep doing whatever it takes to achieve it.

Strong empowering beliefs lead seemingly ordinary people to achieve extraordinary results, while limiting beliefs cripple the most talented despite them having all the resources, from achieving what they could have achieved.